Thus endeth my run as GM Tvini in Dragonrealms. And sixteen years was a pretty good run. There are good feelings on all sides, so who knows? I may be back again someday, when I have more time.
I thought I was calm about this decision, but the night after it was done, I had nightmares about having submitted shoddy work in the game. (Note: I have NEVER done this. My work has always been excellent.) In the morning I woke up and realized that in some form or another, I had been a professional writer since I was 22 years old. As of today, I am not a professional writer. It’s led to a bit of an identity crisis. I consider myself an educated person of words and ideas. Objectively, however, that public identity has changed to “knitting hausfrau.” Yeah, I know, I’m still intelligent, and my job right now is being a dedicated mother and entrepreneur and my product is recognized worldwide as the best of its type, but right now it all feels like trying to comfort myself while continuing down a path that I didn’t ever see myself going down in the first place.
So please bear with me as I reorient myself and reexamine my priorities and my path. The only issue in Dragonrealms really was time. I found GMing to be a rewarding experience, working in an exciting environment with intelligent people. And the game has always been fun. So if the only issue was time, then perhaps this is a good moment to examine exactly what “time” means to me in my life, and whether I’m spending it in a way that is fulfilling.
I just wish it weren’t summer, so I had more time to think about time.
There’s been a mini-fest going on in Dragonrealms over the last couple of days. It’s a nice little event in a really cool new wedding area. Because of this, I’ve been playing more, just as a regular player. In fact, I even had the joy of dying because the network connection from my laptop to our wireless isn’t working properly. In knew in advance that the connection was shaky, so it’s totally my fault. That’ll teach me to hunt above my level. Well, it’s been a long time since I died, so it was probably something I needed to have happen again, just to keep in touch with the total playing experience. I lost a LOT of field experience, but I got back all my stuff, so I suppose all’s well that ends well.
It’s been really fun to explore new places and connect with new people. We’ve got some talented GMs, and seeing what they’ve done has made me want to get into it a bit more. I identified a few tiny little things I can do, and have sent queries off to the appropriate people to see if they mind me mucking around with their stuff. Everybody who’s responded so far has been enthusiastic. There’s not a lot of territoriality behind the scenes. We’re lucky to have a good staff who recognize that we’re all on the same team.
My husband is on furlough this week, which is an unpaid leave which his business is using to cut costs. Everybody’s having to do them; it’s not a special thing for which he’s been singled out. This marks the first time in 15 years that he hasn’t been tethered to his work by an internet connection. He’s using his time off to go camping and spend some time with his father. Em expressed today how much she misses him. It’s unusual for her to verbalize something like that, so he was able to go off on his adventure today feeling very loved. He won’t be gone long, and then we’ll have him all to ourselves for the rest of the week. His daughter is delighted by that.
As much as I’d like to work on Dragonrealms stuff right now, I have Jayne hat business to attend to first. I’ll be stamping up boxes and shipping things out while my daughter is at dance camp this morning. It’s a very busy time here, with convention season upon us.
I’ll try to get a D&D writeup out in the next few days. Until then, gentle readers!
It’s a year today since Pat left us. I think about her often.
I once asked her favorite color.
“Sunshine yellow for walls in the kitchen, deep emerald green for old glass, purple for clothes, red and orange in fall leaves, auburn hair, Carolina blue skies, ash rose for my bedroom walls….but I once bought a book (no, twice I’ve done this!) ’cause it had the purrfect color of green on the cover…{g> Green. Ireland has over 40 shades of it, and someday I’m going to go count them all.”
A while back I got permission to put out a remembrance of her in the memorial tea garden at Tamsine’s Rest in the Crossing, in Dragonrealms, the game she worked in as GM Mroce. I put it out today.
>look on stand
On the bamboo stand you see an unfinished quilt square, a black silk fan painted with cherry blossoms and lotus flowers, a pot of green tea and a pot of jasmine tea.
>look square
The square depicts an elaborate circular labyrinth, its twists and turns a rich autumn red against a deep green background the color of old glass. At the edge of the labyrinth, the stitching is unfinished. A single auburn thread no thicker than a hair lies curled at the labyrinth’s center. In the corner of the square are the initials “M.D.”
I miss you, Pat. That’s all. I just miss you.
I think this year I may skip Simucon.
And here’s why.
I was feeling a little low the last few days, and when that happens, I try to think of things which would make me feel better. Spinning yarn is one, but it takes a certain commitment of time, and besides I loaned my wheel to Jetsy, so that’s off the table for now. Mainly because of the time, Jetsy, don’t worry – I’ll definitely ask for it back when I want it!
Playing piano is another. So I did, and that was good. I think I’m also going to order Denes Agay’s Best Loved Songs of the American People. The songs are old folk songs that I grew up with, and they’re quick and easy to play. That book was on my Amazon wishlist for several years, and it’s ridiculous that I haven’t managed to buy it when it’s one of my top picks. It’s vanished off my wish list now for some reason. No idea why. But it’ll be a quick fix to help me with a little piano pick-me-up when I’m down.
Third, play DragonRealms! And I mean play, not just GM. Usually I’ll play for a few minutes and then start thinking of new things to do for the game, and then I’ll wind up writing new vision messaging or shop items while I’m hacking and slashing. That’s probably what’ll happen today, but we’ll see. I logged my moon mage in this morning to discover that I had a couple of new spells from the Analagous Patterns spellbook. Woo! So time to practice a little magic, and maybe do a little hunting. I can take a break this morning for a little mindless entertainment.
And no, I’m not scripting while I write this entry. I follow the rules. 🙂
I have some non-Jayne knitting to show later. Nothing too complex, but still a nice break. Jayne hats do continue apace. Hats up for: Charlotte, Phoenix, and Chicago.
Pardon, I have to go kill monsters. Elanthia awaits!
December 31st, 2007
admin
This was a report about a misspelling in a room’s text:
REPORT: Typo in last sentance here.
Talk about irony. Hee!
December 14th, 2007
admin
I was in Dragonrealms this morning, updating my moon mage visions, when I realized that the one I’d written about the orphanage being rebuilt had finally come true. I’m a prophet! Woo!
My next prediction will be:
You find yourself standing on Tvini’s doorstep, holding a check for a million dollars. You hand it over and watch her dance a happy jig. The vision fades.
Emily wants me to sew little Brownie vests for some of her dolls. She wants this so much that she dug out my sewing machine and lugged it over to me. “And be sure they fit right!” she adds. Fine, Edith Head. I explained we don’t have any brown fabric, but that since there’s no school tomorrow or Tuesday, we can go to the store tomorrow morning and get some. She was momentarily put out, but has accepted it now.
In other craft news, left is foot one of Vinnland. I’m really liking the way these look. I’ve drawn in four stitches at the ankle, and I may draw in another four for a total of 56 stitches. I’m a loose knitter.
Last night the party in Dragonrealms was still going at 2am when I went to bed. It’s the Gauntlet that makes them run so long. The Gauntlet is an arena-like fight to the death where creatures of increasing strength are released at intervals. One person fights at a time in a “kill or be killed” scenario. Nothin’ says ‘wedding’ like a battle to the death!
If someone is attending a wedding, they are involved enough in the game to know someone and garner an invitation, which means they’re involved enough to know how to fight well, which means they’re not going to quickly die in the Gauntlet. No, they’ll live to the bitter end, which means about 15 minutes per contestant. Last night I got pulled away to fix a slot machine during signups, and when I got back there had been more signups than I would have allowed had I been right there. I didn’t have the heart to turn everyone away. The last guy in line wasn’t able to go, because I really needed to shut things down (it was 1:30 am!), but I did give him some consolation booze. He took it in good grace.
The event went very smoothly, the couple was happy, and all the guests had a good time, so I can’t begrudge the late hour.
Emily and I are going to my aunt’s annual barbecue for boarders at her stables. It’s fun to see the horses. I won’t fall asleep on the road, but I can’t guarantee I’ll be a sparkling conversationalist. Pardon, gotta get more coffee!
September 11th, 2007
admin
I worked a DragonRealms party tonight (actually, still am, there are always people who will stay to close the joint) but my GM character got caught in the same time warp issue that got some player characters. I’ve only now written for restoral, since I can function this way and a lot of players can’t, and I don’t want to butt in front of anyone. However, until my character is restored, she’s kind of… bland. I manually set my gender to female and put on some clothing, but because I kept getting comments about my male/female inconsistencies, I finally had to make myself a pin. So until I can have the flotsam and jetsam of 10 year of GMing returned to me, this is Tvini:
>look tvini
You are GameMaster Tvini Mielsadottir, a Human Commoner.
You have clear colored eyes. You are bald, with pale skin.
Tvini has transcended time.
You are clean shaven.
You are in good shape.
You are wearing a long burlap sack cinched at the waist with a rope and a metal pin reading, “Kiss me, I’m corrupted!”.
Great party, by the way. We have some really inventive players. This is the first time I’ve run arm wrestling, and it was a really lively contest. The party was really a blast!
Overheard on the GM channel during the Plat Taffelberry Fair, demonstrating once again why bards rule:
[Cardamom] If the entire weekend goes by and nobody buys a single flask, I’m invading.
[Reexa] LOL.
[MacFrae] I should buy one. I mean, why would Mac not?
[Cardamom] Well, they are, technically, pieces of crap.
[MacFrae] If they hold liquor, Mac’s happy.
[Cardamom] I give a free vial of bubbles with purchase.
[Cardamom] Or, really, without purchase, but it helps sales if people think it’s with purchase.
[Reexa] heh
[MacFrae] Hee!
[MacFrae] I’ll take a peek.
(MacFrae goes by the tent later and buys a flask)
[Cardamom] And thus, MacFrae averts an invasion. Good guildleader.
[MacFrae] I do my part.
