Kiss My Knits!

In fairness to Vaschon, whom I mocked last week for rolling a 1 when shooting at kobolds, I have to post the following. Same cavern, kobolds again, except this time we got the drop on them. A couple of rounds have passed, and the cleric (Deryka) has made it to melee.

DRTvini: Maybe I should put away my bow and just charge in with my axe. I don’t trust myself not to accidentally puncture a sunrod.
Cadaya: (snicker)
Cadaya: Dwarf’s turn.
DRTvini: Right. I’m going for it with the bow.
Deryka: I ought to shove this sunrod up your nose. 😛
OnlineHost: DRTvini rolled 1 20-sided die: 1
DRTvini: oh crap.
Vaschon: lol
Deryka: She axed herself?
DRTvini: I think the mass of sunrods on her back may be the only thing saving her.
Vaschon: good thing I’m BEHIND the Dwarf.
Blasword: theres the dwarf we know and love from last time
DRTvini: ARGH!
Deryka: I’m not sure it’s good you’re behind her. She could be swinging in circles.
Vaschon: She shot with the bow
DRTvini: Yeah. So worry about yourself.
DRTvini: I do have a +3 bonus on my dex.
Cadaya: Wait, (Tvini)… you’re firing that bow at the kobolds?
Deryka: I’m so dead.
Vaschon: Poor Cleric.
DRTvini: There is no right answer.
Blasword: ;___;
Cadaya: Roll again.
OnlineHost: DRTvini rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
Vaschon: phew!
DRTvini: Oh thank God!
Cadaya: Roll damage.
Blasword: thank you oh mighty thor
OnlineHost: DRTvini rolled 1 6-sided die: 3
Cadaya: The cleric takes 3 damage.
DRTvini: SHIT!
Deryka: I’m alive.
DRTvini: I yell to the cleric, “Sorry!”
Vaschon: says to the Dwarf, “The ones with the TAILS”
Blasword: thats some healthy lookin blood she’s bleeding
Cadaya: You fired into melee and rolled a ONE.
DRTvini: I’m a bouncer, not a marksman!
Deryka: I shake my sunrod at the dwarf. (g)
Blasword: And I’m a lover, not a fighter!
DRTvini: I am now officially putting the bow away in favor of the axe.
Cadaya: Hah.

–much later in the same combat–

Cadaya: Clerics’ turn.
Deryka: Goodie!
Tessima: Okay, so this counts as a spell used, right?
OnlineHost: Deryka rolled 1 20-sided die: 4
Cadaya: Yep!
Deryka: … I’m not gonna even bother adding my strength mod.
Cadaya: You miss.
DRTvini: I yell to her again, “Sorry! I’ll clean the armor for you later!”
Vaschon: The cleric waves her morning star at a kobold, but due to the arrow sticking out of her ass, she fails miserably.
DRTvini: Hm. maybe I shoudn’t clean that after all.
Deryka: (Don’t make me snort tea. :P)
Blasword: Paddywagon Pete takes a hand to his eyes and shakes his head slowly::
Tessima: I’m waving my arms around again.
DRTvini: It’s like the keystone cops got sent to save the town.