Kiss My Knits!

I’m engaged to this guy. Let’s call him “John Smith.” He was asking me what kind of wedding ring I wanted, and I told him I wanted a big gold skull ring with “LUCKY” engraved on it and one diamond eye and one ruby eye, and he said that you had written that such rings were gauche, and I said I didn’t care what some old harridan wrote, and he said that proper girls didn’t say such things, and one thing led to another and the next thing you know he had left in a huff and I was revenge-schtupping his brother. Which was great, by the way.

He seems to put a lot of stock in your opinion, so my question is, if I’m writing “John” a letter telling him to take a long walk off a short pier, what’s the right way to do it?