Kiss My Knits!

120809 notes

Here it is, the final D&D session of 2009! You may recall that last week we made a pathetic attempt to board the ship, thwarted by bad connections and sickness. We’ve had a week to mull over a plan, but haven’t decided on a course of action.

We discuss our choices:
Val: Val wants to keep up the charade if possible.
Palin: I’m on board with Val’s plan, considering it’s the only one we have.
Veracity: We could always try to take out the officers in one fell swoop and then take command in the resulting, presumed, confusion. After keeping up the charade long enough to get into the captain’s presence.
Bentein: “I say we light the ship on fire. Then fight the ones that want to fight who aren’t busy with the fire, release the oarsmen, and capture an officer.”
GM Vaschon: And lets see if the giant Cthulu tentacles reach from the ocean waters…
GM Vaschon rolled 1 20-sided die: 6
GM Vaschon: Nope

I think that’s the DM’s way of saying, “Let’s get on with it already.”

We argue for a while over the flaws in the various plans – we don’t know how to run a ship, it would be difficult to control the passengers or crew, it would be easier to get the charts and one prisoner and sneak back to the baron, but in the end, we decide to take bold action rather than talk half the night, as we are wont to do. Besides, the DM is making random rolls again. We take the hint. Torkal, Palin, and Veracity are playing slaves, Val, Ale, and Bentein are their captors.

Val climbs up the ladder. There’s nobody up on deck brandishing anything, so right away we’re ahead of where we usually are at this point in an adventure. There’s someone at the stern leaning against some crates and a figure near the ship’s wheel. Val walks up a few steps to the figure in the stern.

GM Vaschon: He appears to be wearing tattered clothes, a sash and a bandana. He has a cutlass at his side.
Palin: Arrrr.
Val: Val raises his hand while keeping his other hand on his shoulder as if somewhat hurt.
GM Vaschon: The figure appears to be dozing off.

Well that’s a bit anticlimactic. Val goes aft to the figure at the wheel.

Veracity: ((Should’ve stuck your knife between the shoulders of the dozing one while you had the chance, and tipped him quietly over the side 🙁 ))
Palin: Back seat slaver.
Val: i thought about it but i figured they’d think him missing soon enough
GM Vaschon: The figure notices Val and asks, “Who are you?”
Aleanghi: (I am The Hair.)
Veracity: ((I am the Walrus. Kookookachu.))
Val: El pelo guapo
Val: “I’m part of Gerti’s crew. We were ambushed by the baron’s men. I barely made it here with my life.”
GM Vaschon: Teh figure responds, “Tough luck, go report to the first mate.”
Palin: Yay, we’re not in a pitched sea battle.
Aleanghi: Yet, LOL

Val is directed down below. He goes back to the rope ladder and brings us all up.

Aleanghi: Ale hisses to Val, “Where do we go?”
Val: Val says, “Downstairs, I need to report to the mate. Look pissed and tired and hurt.”
Aleanghi: Aleangi replies (quietly) “Not far from truth…”
Val: Val makes his way to the closest stairway down.
Veracity: Veracity manages to look at least convincingly pissed off and dissatisfied with her accomodations, if nothing else.
Val: Are you guys coming with me? maybe it’d be better to have one person go
GM Vaschon: Considering you don’t know where you’re going Val.
Palin: How is that different than every other place we go?
GM Vaschon: point

Not wanting Val to go alone, we all go downstairs in search of the mate.

GM Vaschon: Your party goes down the steps on the aft side of the ship. You see a corridor leading foward. The corridor is 5′ in width and extends roughly 40′ ahead. There are doors on the port and starboard side of the corridor and a door on the forward end.
Val: Do the doors say anything on them?
Aleanghi: “Men” “Women” “Unknown”
Palin: Open one… what’s the worst that can happen?
Veracity: You had to say that, didn’t you?
Val: quietly opens the door
GM Vaschon: Val opens the port side door, there appear to be two bunks with figures in them.
Val: The figures look asleep?
GM Vaschon: You want to walk up and ask them?

No, we do not. We close the door and open the starboard. Another two figures in the bunks. We count four potential quick kills and another person on deck who is asleep.

GM Vaschon: Val goes another 10′ feet and sees doors on the port and starboard side.
GM Vaschon: You are at the 20′ mark and have seen 2 on each side so far.
Aleanghi: If things do go weird, we totally need to do one of those chase sequences through all the doors.

We keep moving and find some double doors.

Veracity: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdJg6Duzzf4
GM Vaschon: Val opens the door to a large mess area. There is a cook and 2 crewmen sitting at a table. On the forward end of the mess is another set of double doors.
Palin: Ah. Probably more quarters on the other side. Central mess.
GM Vaschon: There is a door on the port side near some wood tables.
Torkal: Pool tables! It’s actually a bar! This is one of those riverboat casinos!
Palin: Then I think we’re doubling down.

Val asks for directions to the first mate.

GM Vaschon: A kobold cook licks his ladle.
Palin: Perv.
GM Vaschon: The crewman waves you off.
Val: …in any direction or just dismissively?
GM Vaschon: Dismissively.
Val: geez
Palin: Pirates are assholes. You don’t have to take that.

They seem to be suspecting something, but they are also armed, so we try to bluff them. Palin starts to cry and Val backhands her. The crewmen may or may not buy it, but at least they don’t leap into action and attack us or ring the nearby bell.

We exit the galley safely and finally find our way down the stairs. We find the pilot’s room but don’t think to check for charts. Then we stumble upon the quartermaster’s room, complete with weapons rack.

GM Vaschon: Palin rummages around and finds axes, cutlass and daggers. None them appear to be magical.
Palin: cheap-ass pirates.

As we try to orient ourselves, we realize that we’re perilously close to getting lost.

Veracity: We could try the more forthright method of standing on deck and yelling, “Goddammit, where the hell is the first mate on this crate! I am bloodied, tired, the guards might be right behind us and I have merchandise to stow!”

It’s appealing, but we continue to wander. Imagine one of those Family Circus cartoons where little Billy meanders through the neighborhood. Now imagine the neighborhood is a hostile ship full of enemy sailors who would like to slit little Billy’s throat. You know, I might read Family Circus if there were more cartoons like that.

GM Vaschon: As your party moves down the port side of the ship, you are greeted with a loud noise.
Palin: What. The. Fuck.
Veracity: oh my god. It’s an ex-parrot.
GM Vaschon: A large parrot sits perched on a beam giving you an evil eye.
Veracity: Never mind that. It’s a ZOMBIE parrot!
Val: leave it alone
Palin: That is the ugliest parrot I have ever seen.
Val: not the droid we are looking for.

We keep moving. We’re slightly more lost. Maybe we should have made a map. We think about calling it a night, since poor Val’s player is suffering from some pretty heinous fumes from construction in his area. We’re not going to let a little thing like being completely disoriented in the game AND in real life stop us, though. We decide to open one more door.

GM Vaschon: You open the door and are at the foremost portion of the ship. You see a large half-orc bosun, and a large human first mate standing over a ramp leading down deeper to the ship. There are chains, ropes and barrels throughout the room.
Torkal: First mate FTW.
Palin: I guess it’s too late to kill everybody in their sleep, eh?
Aleanghi: It is. but hey, found the mate.

Val decides to keep bluffing and tells them his tale of woe about being ambushed by the baron’s men.

Val: Val shoves Veracity down to the ground, “we made it out with some of the cargo before things got too hairy.”
Palin: Chaaarlie’s Angels…
GM Vaschon: The bosun asks, “Who are you?”
Val: “I work for Gerti. I’m Guybrush”
Palin: Guybrush Threepwood? Mighty Pirate?
Val: (shhh)
GM Vaschon: The first mate says, “Alright, we’ll take them down below then return with your bounty so you can return to shore.”
Val: “Eh, that’s the thing. Its not safe to go back boss.”
GM Vaschon: The firstmate responds, “Not our problem, you know the drill.”
Val: “Gerti is dead.”
GM Vaschon: The bosun says, “More bounty for you.”
GM Vaschon: The bosun grabs a prod from the wall and approaches Veracity.
Aleanghi: (see, we totally shoulda stopped back before we started talking…)
Palin: If I distract, can you guys take out these two? Do we even want to?
Val: “Er look boss, they’re goin to get us if we go back. How can I join up. I’ve had enough of this land mess.”
Veracity: Veracity glares. Sullenly. And tenses. It might be fear.
Val: can i roll diplo or something?
GM Vaschon: For what
Val: i dunno, to get what i want?
Val: to be more convincing? endearing? remind him of themselves when they were Val’s age?
GM Vaschon: The first mate says, “We’ll talk about it after we stow the prisoners.”
Palin: Well, I was talking about thinking too much earlier…
Palin: Palin falls over, convulsing and rolling around.
GM Vaschon: The bosun turns his attention from Veracity and moves toward Palin.
Palin: So it’s on you, guys! we get thrown in the hold and go to the island (maybe, they stay out for months) or we make our move!
Val: i’m in no condition to make a decision really. I was hoping there’d be more consensus.
Palin: Heh. Well, we could break here.
Palin: It’s a hell of a cliffhanger.
GM Vaschon: The bosun raises his prod to strike down at Palin. Tune in next year to find out what happens next.
Palin: Same boat time, same boat channel!