Kiss My Knits!

We pick up right where we left off.

GM Vaschon: Your party managed to open the door last session and saw a fairly large cavern with monstrous foliage alongside the stone bridge.
GM Vaschon: There is a stone bridge leading south. There are giant mushrooms on either side of the bridge leading southeast and southwest. The bridge is fairly large, roughly 20′ in width and extends pretty far south.

Veracity: Any caterpillars in sight?
Aleanghi: Do the mushrooms appear sentient? And if so, are they doing the Fantasia dance?
GM Vaschon: You don’t see any. However, peering over the bridge, the chasm is roughly 100′ down ending in water.
GM Vaschon: The mushrooms appear to be dormant. However, they appear quite sturdy.
Aleanghi: Maybe Veracity can seduce one.

Aleanghi puts on her spectacles, which she is now calling “gogglethingers.” Nothing looks unusual. There is no distinct pattern to the mushrooms, but they do look like they could support a path. The party rolls out, single file, across the bridge with Palin in the lead. Immediately there are shenanigans. Palin goes 10 feet, senses danger, and rolls a 1 on her spot check. The next roll is a 20, confirming the horrifying failure.


GM Vaschon: oh dear
Palin: OH MAN.
Aleanghi: We’re doomed.
Bentein: yay
Palin: doodley doodley doo… strolling toward doom… dee dee dum…
Veracity: hee hee hee
Veracity: I don’t suppose anyone else might spot anything?
GM Vaschon: You’ll get your chance momentarily…
Veracity: I don’t know if I like the sound of that!
Aleanghi: I *know* I don’t.
GM Vaschon: As Palin moves south, you hear a *whoops* as the floor gives way. Palin tumbles through the collapsed bridge…
Aleanghi: Eeeep.
Palin: CRAAAAAAAAAaaaaaapp…..

…and then I lose connection, but not before making my saving throw!

GM Vaschon: Fortunately for Palin, she reacts in time and lands 30′ down to an awaiting mushroom. She takes 16 damage from the fall.
GM Vaschon: And she thought she could log off to avoid the damage!
GM Vaschon: What does she think this is, DR?

As usual, it’s hilarious if you know DragonRealms. In the meantime, another part of the unstable bridge collapses. (Aleanghi: “Well, that complicates things.”) Everyone else sees me fall, so they manage to stop before they tumble off the bridge. The rest of the party ties a rope around Palin and tries to pull her up. Veracity yells down, “Make a loop and step in to it, or sit in it, or something!” but Palin just grabs it and goes. She falls halfway up and further injures herself landing on the mushroom.

GM Vaschon: Palin takes an additional 12 points of damage.
Bentein: “Tie it under your arms.”
Palin: “YOU tie it under your arms.” Palin feels testy now.
Veracity: Veracity says a little waspishly, “What a brilliant idea.”
Veracity: Veracity yells down again, “Make a LOOP at the end of the ROPE and STEP IN TO IT so it will help support your weight while we haul you up!”
Palin: Palin ties the rope around herself, under her arms and says, “Pull me up, dammit.”
GM Vaschon: (considers rolling to see if knot is tied)
GM Vaschon: The party manages to haul Palin to safety.
Veracity: Veracity says to the raven, “No one ever listens to me except you. And I am brilliant.”
Veracity: The raven skrawwwks.
Bentein: “Were you saying something?”
Veracity: Veracity glowers.

We continue on the bridge, skirting the unstable parts. There’s a ladder on the unstable east side, but we opt to leave it and continue across the bridge. About 20 feet from the end, we encounter a large figure guarding what appears to be the end of the cavern and a chamber. It notices us but stays put.

We discuss the wisdom of fighting an ogre on an unstable bridge, but continue toward it, undeterred. We spot what looks like a trap on the way: a row of skulls along each side of the bridge. Our resident rogue Val examines a skull.

Val: “I think fire comes out of it if we’re not careful”
Palin: Palin nods sagely.
Palin: Palin waves to the ogre.
GM Vaschon: The ogre appears to ignore Palin.
Palin: We could always shoot it.
Palin: And hope it doesn’t have friends.
Val: Maybe we shouldn’t shoot it
Val: Lets try to not be the aggravators this time…see what happens
Aleanghi: Because provoking a fight on a trapped unstable bridge is such a good idea..
Val: I mean, it can’t hit ALL of us at the same time

Palin: Palin asks, “Ho, friend! I think we’re lost. What is this place?”
Val: don’t call him a ho
GM Vaschon: The ogre waits.
Veracity: “I could try the effect of my charm, personal charisma and general desirability on it.” Veracity considers the ogre a little dubiously.
Palin: Palin adds, “…sir?”
GM Vaschon: The ogre motions Palin over
Palin: Palin glances at the skulls.
Palin: Palin motions the ogre over. “Your skulls make me nervous.”
GM Vaschon: The ogre repeats his motion.
Palin: Oh man.
Bentein: Just to be on the safe side, Bentein casts cure moderate wounds on Palin. Should catch her up a bit.
Aleanghi: Don’t think we’re in a position to refuse, now that we’ve taken up talking with him.
Val: Val pats Heather on the back
Palin: Palin takes a deep breath and moves toward the ogre.

GM Vaschon: As Palin makes her way to the ogre, the skulls flare with brilliance. Palin successfully avoids the fire shooting from the skulls, and returns to her group. The ogre looks annoyed.
GM Vaschon: Your party notices movement on the ledges next to the ogre. To the east and roughly 10′ up is a bugbear archer. To the west and roughly 20′ up are 2 bugbear archers. They are unaware that you have noticed them.
Veracity: “Oh crap.”
Palin: Aaaaand now it’s time to go away.

Go away we do, back to the ladder we passed earlier.

Val: Val decides to go down to get a better look at the mushroom. he is not going to land on it though
Palin: I did earlier. It didn’t hurt me.
Veracity: And it didn’t rouse to angry life and start shooting poison spores or anything.
Aleanghi: Don’t give (Vaschon) any ideas.

Our magic users have the bright idea to have their flying familiars check it out. They see a series of mushrooms to the southeast gradually descending in height leading to a ledge by a large chamber.
Palin: “That sounds promising.”
Veracity: “Is the ledge to the chamber occupied by an ogre?” Veracity looks hopeful.
Palin: “An asshole ogre?”
Aleanghi: Aleangi asks Flambe if there were guards.
GM Vaschon: The one to the east? No
Val: Val is going to go east anyway
Veracity: “That sounds even more intriguing.”

So we all hop on the mushrooms, following Val to the east. At this point, I fall asleep at my keyboard, so the DM takes over driving me. It’s a close thing, but we hop all the way to the ledge without being killed or falling. Yay!

What’s in the cavern, you ask? It’s… a giant chest! We open it in the next session, and believe me, the results are awesome. Tune in again!