D&D Week 11: He’s only MOSTLY dead.
As you may recall, we left the last campaign just outside a chamber teeming with kobolds. There was an altar with somebody or something tied to it. And there was a necromancer. There’s ALWAYS a necromancer.
Astonishingly, we have the element of surprise. We decide to poke our heads in and try to pick off the archers guarding the entrance. We aim at the one on the left. Veracity nails it in the chest. Go Veracity! The rest of us completely miss.
GM: The kobold archer, struggling through the pain in his chest makes an obvious look of relief as a myriad of arrows and bolts sail past.
On the second round, five of us again whiff, while Veracity again hits. Gee, Veracity sure is having a string of good luck tonight!
My Dwarf Palin, emboldened by our relative lack of suckage, decides to rush into the room to attack the necromancer. She promptly falls into a pit. Now she’s trapped, bleeding, and cut off from the rest of the party. Then a zombie (pictured) jumps into the pit with her. Of course.
At this point, I am in the pit and technically cannot see what is going on upstairs. Judging from the sounds, it seems that our behavior is slightly less stooge-like than normal. I don’t smell burning hair, is it possible that nobody is even being set on fire? Don’t worry, though, because the wizard does manage to hit the other Dwarf, Torkal, in the back of the head with a magic bolt. For once, I’m glad I’m in the pit.
That bolt seems to shake something loose in Torkal. He takes down the necromancer, cleaving it in two. We’re on a roll! We’re not sucking! We’re going to win without someone being set on fire!
It’s unbelievable! It’s… too good to be true.
At our moment of triumph, a kobold rogue slips from the shadows and backstabs Veracity. She’s hit for 25 damage. Holy moly! So much for her run of good luck.
Veracity: Veracity, looking extremely astonished and not a little outraged, expires.
Poor dead Veracity. She was doing so well. Val the Elven rogue gets his revenge, killing the kobold rogue instantly.
Am I helping out up top? No! I am still swinging away at the stupid zombie in the stupid pit. How do I keep missing? We’re trapped in a pit together! The zombie certainly seems to have no trouble hitting me square in the face. Also, diseasing me.
A second archer rushes down the stairs and tries to do something with a lever – this mine is lousy with levers – but Bentein manages to shoot it in the back before it can do whatever it was trying to do.
I finally manage to kill the freakin’ zombie and clamber out of the pit. Just as I successfully emerge, wounded and embarrassed, the final enemy is killed.
And what a scene of carnage lies before me. Veracity dead, everybody else wounded, and a Dwarf lying on an altar, dying. We do manage to save him, using the last of our Cure Light Wounds spells to do so.
We save a Dwarf on an altar, who is very grateful. Apparently he and his crew of miners were captured and turned into slaves, or experimented on and killed. He revealed that months ago, the Dwarves discovered an ancient statue on the 9th level of the mines. They didn’t know what it was made of. “The head was malformed, a clawed hand and what appeared to be a wing.” He also tells us that the kobolds apparently aren’t the ones we need to worry about, it’s the hobgoblins on the lower floors.
While the Dwarf is talking, Val goes off to look for a secret passage. After about five minutes I suddenly realize that the normally talkative Elf has been very quiet for a while, and on an out of character note there have been an awful lot of mysterious dice rolls from him and the GM. I go over to investigate what Val the Elf is up to and discover that he is completely engulfed in a black pudding. I guess there’s always room for Elves.
As the pudding spots Palin, it drops the unconscious Elf and moves toward her. She slowly backs away, callng out to her companions that she’s luring a pudding up the hall. Everybody gleefully pulls out their best bashing weapons and starts beating the tar out of it.
Dead Veracity: I am so so sad I am missing the Great Pudding Slaughter!
The pudding takes it in stride and slams into Torkal for big damage.
Elf: …And that’s how the entire party was done in by a Black Pudding.
We proceed to wail on it more, using a quarterstaff, a crowbar, and our fists. The pudding grabs hold of Torkal and proceeds to constrict him. He’s down to one hitpoint. Next stops: unconsciousness and death. Torkal’s our best fighter. This is very bad. Thus motivated, my Dwarf, Palin, punches the pudding to death. You read that right.
With our foes finally vanquished, the Elf stabilized at -5 hitpoints, and the Dwarf (named Bergh) we freed accompanying us, we make our way back to the shrine. We have to rest before we attempt to raise Veracity. And why not rest? She ain’t getting any deader.
On the way, we run into a party of wandering boggles. Our DM hates us. This could have been very bad, but in fact, we dispatch them without taking a hit. It’s a miracle! Back at the shrine, we rest, raise Veracity (who will take a penalty for dying), and metaphorically lick our wounds.
Taking stock:
On the down side
- I fell into a pit
- I got diseased
- A party member died
- Another was knocked unconscious
- We ran about two hours overtime because of all the death.
On the up side
- I slew a zombie
- I beat a black pudding to death with my bare hands
- I cleaved… uh, clove… uh, split a boggle in half
- I didn’t catch on fire once.
- It was wicked fun.
I’m going to call it a draw. Next time we go back to search the bodies and figure out what’s going on with the lever. And probably get our collective butts kicked again.
>I didn’t catch on fire once.
Should that be: Much to everyone’s surprise, no one was set on fire?
>I didn’t catch on fire once.
Should that be: Much to everyone’s surprise, no one was set on fire?
Magus Ambrodiel: magusambrodiel rolled 1 20-sided die: 18
[22:09] Magus Ambrodiel: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
[22:09] Umaro60667: nice!!
[22:09] gm vaschon: confirmed
[22:09] Magus Ambrodiel: The axe is 3x.
[22:09] drtvini: wow.
[22:09] Magus Ambrodiel: But it is -1 damage.
[22:09] Umaro60667: “Go Bloodface”
[22:09] Umaro60667: pshaw
[22:09] Mafion: Go Torkal, Go Torkal!
[22:10] gm vaschon: roll damage x3
[22:10] Magus Ambrodiel: magusambrodiel rolled 3 10-sided dice: 3 2 6
[22:10] Magus Ambrodiel: -3 = 8
[22:10] Magus Ambrodiel: Unless it’s -1 for the whole attack.
[22:10] Umaro60667: oh i’m sorry, i took the attacks on bentein and veracity for their rolls
[22:10] Magus Ambrodiel: In which case it’s 10.
[22:10] Umaro60667: once again, i am wrong and apologize
[22:11] Magus Ambrodiel: + the 2 for power attack.
[22:11] gm vaschon: GM Vaschon rolled 1 7-sided die: 2
[22:11] Magus Ambrodiel: So we’re looking at one metric asston of damage.
[22:11] DRVaeldriil: …just which female here are you trying to butter up?
[22:11] drtvini: heh
[22:11] drtvini: I’m in a pit, it ain’t me.
[22:12] gm vaschon: Torkal, making up for all his past ineptitudes cleaves at a Kobold necromancer’s neck, cutting directly through. The head pauses momentarily then slides off the torso.
[22:12] DRVaeldriil: (I meant with admitting he was wrong)
[22:12] Magus Ambrodiel: Torkal cackles as he is sprayed with blood!
AND
*****
Rogue Pwnage by Val:
[22:20] gm vaschon: Val.
[22:20] Umaro60667: Valasitor steps between Bentein and the Kobold Rogue, draws forth his short sword and says in a voice not unlike sean connery’s, “It’s on, you rapscallion.” He thrusts!
[22:20] Umaro60667: //roll-dice1-sides20
[22:20] umaro60667: umaro60667 rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
[22:20] Umaro60667: +6
[22:20] DRVaeldriil: Dude.
[22:20] bretth1113: lol
[22:20] bretth1113: Sean Connery for the win
[22:20] Magus Ambrodiel: fdhghsdfgdfghdfg
[22:20] Umaro60667: I invoked Sean Connery
[22:20] gm vaschon: roll to confirm.
[22:20] DRVaeldriil: Now THAT’S a thrust.
[22:21] Umaro60667: //roll-dice1-sides20
[22:21] umaro60667: umaro60667 rolled 1 20-sided die: 14
[22:21] gm vaschon: confirmed
[22:21] Magus Ambrodiel: ROCK HARD THRUST
[22:21] bretth1113: He just needed to look at the magazines a while.
[22:21] DRVaeldriil: ROFL
[22:21] Umaro60667: //roll-dice2-sides6
[22:21] umaro60667: umaro60667 rolled 2 6-sided dice: 6 1
[22:21] Umaro60667: +1 +1
[22:21] gm vaschon: GM Vaschon rolled 1 7-sided die: 2
[22:21] Umaro60667: 7+2 = 9
[22:22] gm vaschon: Val thrusts the Kobold rogue through the next and pops an artery. The rogue falls over dead as a pool of blood forms.
[22:22] gm vaschon: neck
[22:22] Mafion: Rapscallion paid!
Magus Ambrodiel: magusambrodiel rolled 1 20-sided die: 18
[22:09] Magus Ambrodiel: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
[22:09] Umaro60667: nice!!
[22:09] gm vaschon: confirmed
[22:09] Magus Ambrodiel: The axe is 3x.
[22:09] drtvini: wow.
[22:09] Magus Ambrodiel: But it is -1 damage.
[22:09] Umaro60667: “Go Bloodface”
[22:09] Umaro60667: pshaw
[22:09] Mafion: Go Torkal, Go Torkal!
[22:10] gm vaschon: roll damage x3
[22:10] Magus Ambrodiel: magusambrodiel rolled 3 10-sided dice: 3 2 6
[22:10] Magus Ambrodiel: -3 = 8
[22:10] Magus Ambrodiel: Unless it’s -1 for the whole attack.
[22:10] Umaro60667: oh i’m sorry, i took the attacks on bentein and veracity for their rolls
[22:10] Magus Ambrodiel: In which case it’s 10.
[22:10] Umaro60667: once again, i am wrong and apologize
[22:11] Magus Ambrodiel: + the 2 for power attack.
[22:11] gm vaschon: GM Vaschon rolled 1 7-sided die: 2
[22:11] Magus Ambrodiel: So we’re looking at one metric asston of damage.
[22:11] DRVaeldriil: …just which female here are you trying to butter up?
[22:11] drtvini: heh
[22:11] drtvini: I’m in a pit, it ain’t me.
[22:12] gm vaschon: Torkal, making up for all his past ineptitudes cleaves at a Kobold necromancer’s neck, cutting directly through. The head pauses momentarily then slides off the torso.
[22:12] DRVaeldriil: (I meant with admitting he was wrong)
[22:12] Magus Ambrodiel: Torkal cackles as he is sprayed with blood!
AND
*****
Rogue Pwnage by Val:
[22:20] gm vaschon: Val.
[22:20] Umaro60667: Valasitor steps between Bentein and the Kobold Rogue, draws forth his short sword and says in a voice not unlike sean connery’s, “It’s on, you rapscallion.” He thrusts!
[22:20] Umaro60667: //roll-dice1-sides20
[22:20] umaro60667: umaro60667 rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
[22:20] Umaro60667: +6
[22:20] DRVaeldriil: Dude.
[22:20] bretth1113: lol
[22:20] bretth1113: Sean Connery for the win
[22:20] Magus Ambrodiel: fdhghsdfgdfghdfg
[22:20] Umaro60667: I invoked Sean Connery
[22:20] gm vaschon: roll to confirm.
[22:20] DRVaeldriil: Now THAT’S a thrust.
[22:21] Umaro60667: //roll-dice1-sides20
[22:21] umaro60667: umaro60667 rolled 1 20-sided die: 14
[22:21] gm vaschon: confirmed
[22:21] Magus Ambrodiel: ROCK HARD THRUST
[22:21] bretth1113: He just needed to look at the magazines a while.
[22:21] DRVaeldriil: ROFL
[22:21] Umaro60667: //roll-dice2-sides6
[22:21] umaro60667: umaro60667 rolled 2 6-sided dice: 6 1
[22:21] Umaro60667: +1 +1
[22:21] gm vaschon: GM Vaschon rolled 1 7-sided die: 2
[22:21] Umaro60667: 7+2 = 9
[22:22] gm vaschon: Val thrusts the Kobold rogue through the next and pops an artery. The rogue falls over dead as a pool of blood forms.
[22:22] gm vaschon: neck
[22:22] Mafion: Rapscallion paid!
Good point. I’m sure we’ll make up for it next week.
Good point. I’m sure we’ll make up for it next week.
Fun stuff!
Fun stuff!
“It’s on, you rapscallion?” How did I miss that?
“It’s on, you rapscallion?” How did I miss that?