“Mom’s Behavior: Needs Improvement.”
Em: “HO HO HO!”
Me: “Santa? Is that you?”
Em: “Yes! It is me!”
Me: “Do you have anything for me? I’ve been good all year long.”
Em: “You have? Youv’e been good all year long?”
Me: “Yes!”
Em, matter of factly: “That is false. You have not been good all year long. That’s false.”
Me: “Well… I’ve tried!”
Em: “Hm.”
Wow. Tough crowd.
In other news, Em is still wearing those Christmas socks. I shudder to think what her feet will smell like when I’m finally able to peel them off.
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If you truly want a smell to remember, call your local bowling alley and ask if they have any of their shoes for sale – some will sell their more slightly used pairs for cheap.
Then let her wear those socks for a few more days, plus the oh-so fanciful pair of used bowling shoes and boo-yah! A smell you’ll wish you could bottle and save for a special occasion. You could give it away as a Christmas gift to someone with sinus problems.
If you truly want a smell to remember, call your local bowling alley and ask if they have any of their shoes for sale – some will sell their more slightly used pairs for cheap.
Then let her wear those socks for a few more days, plus the oh-so fanciful pair of used bowling shoes and boo-yah! A smell you’ll wish you could bottle and save for a special occasion. You could give it away as a Christmas gift to someone with sinus problems.
Santa doesn’t grade on a curve.
Santa doesn’t grade on a curve.
Wow. See, that’s what Santa should bring if you’re naughty. Dirty used bowling shoes. The rate of niceness would skyrocket.
Wow. See, that’s what Santa should bring if you’re naughty. Dirty used bowling shoes. The rate of niceness would skyrocket.
Durn. I should have done the extra credit work.
Durn. I should have done the extra credit work.
Let her wear them in the bathtub. Problem solved.
Let her wear them in the bathtub. Problem solved.