Zzzzzip it!
This morning, Steve and I had been talking with Emily about going to the zoo at some point. She’s very excited, but clearly doesn’t want to go right now. She wanted to set a date far in the future, to give herself some time to get adjusted. She picked Nov 12th at random, and then we settled on a date in August. So after all that, she told us, “I want to go play now.” That’s fine. She’s eight, and we had been talking about something fairly directed and focused, and she was still in her PJs, for Pete’s sake.
Shortly thereafter:
Me: I need to go to the post office later, do you want to come?
Emily: No, thank you. I want to stay here.
Me: Okay, that’s fine, but I’d still like you to put on some daytime clothes.
Emily: Okay. Then will you leave me alone?
Heh. I think she was worried I’d still make her go to the post office. The thing is, she really doesn’t mean it rudely! Any more than she does when she says, “I don’t want to answer that now” or “I’m done talking” and then launches into an involved story involving someone imaginary. She really does mean what she says, and she says it very matter-of-factly. She’s had enough of whatever I’m forcing her to concentrate on, and she needs to do her own thing. The tough part is getting her to communicate that in a way that doesn’t come off like “talk to the hand!” We seem to have curbed a flat “Stop talking” from her.
So what’s a short, effective, direct, polite way that you can tell someone that you need to not talk with them anymore? Something an eight-year-old would understand would be ideal.
“momma, may I have some alone time, please?”
“momma, may I please share my story now?”
“momma, my brain is full. may I please stop having to think?”
I have a friend who’s daughter is the same way and its kinda cute the coping strategies she’s come up with so as to be polite, but taking care of her own needs….
“momma, may I have some alone time, please?”
“momma, may I please share my story now?”
“momma, my brain is full. may I please stop having to think?”
I have a friend who’s daughter is the same way and its kinda cute the coping strategies she’s come up with so as to be polite, but taking care of her own needs….
P has a very similar thing, except he’s a bit less verbal, so he just says “S T O P” or “S T O P says stop.”
Maybe “my brain is full right now” or “I need a break” or “that’s all I can process” … ?
When *I* hit that point, I say I’m out of spoons.
P has a very similar thing, except he’s a bit less verbal, so he just says “S T O P” or “S T O P says stop.”
Maybe “my brain is full right now” or “I need a break” or “that’s all I can process” … ?
When *I* hit that point, I say I’m out of spoons.
I like the suggestions of “my brain is full” or “I need quiet time”. They sum up nicely that she needs a break.
Heck, I think I’ve used similar lines before as well.
I like the suggestions of “my brain is full” or “I need quiet time”. They sum up nicely that she needs a break.
Heck, I think I’ve used similar lines before as well.
Thanks for linking that. It’s a really good story.
Thanks for linking that. It’s a really good story.
Quiet time, Alone time. I like these suggestions.
Quiet time, Alone time. I like these suggestions.
We always used a version of “I need some space.” We all use it. Me and the kids.
We always used a version of “I need some space.” We all use it. Me and the kids.