I give and give and give…
I feel frustrated because I don’t enjoy being a girl scout leader, and while I can ask if anybody else can step up, if they don’t then I face the options of either continuing on or disbanding the troop, neither of which is what I’d like to have happen.
I worry that although I’ve raised $1000 for Emily’s school via Donors Choose, there’s always still the chance that neither proposal will be fully funded, meaning the cash will go to somebody else’s school depending on what option all the donors chose. And that’s fine, don’t get me wrong, but still a little disappointing. I feel like a Grinch saying that. I can’t continue the offer of Jayne hats for charity indefinitely, as it of course costs me money to make those, so it’s not just a loss of profits, it’s an actual loss.
I’ve been trying to find time for the last three days to finish watching this one episode of Deep Space Nine, but keep getting interrupted and never have the time. Right now the TV’s been commandeered for another showing of Frosty the Snowman. It just feels symbolic of the lack of time I feel I have for myself. I could use a good weekend on my own.
The Jayne hat list is crazy long and there are side projects I’ve promised to friends and family that are getting neglected, which makes me feel bad. Heck, there’s still someone out there who hasn’t gotten their Christmas present, and it’s wrapped and sitting right here within view.
I think the biggest thing, the thing that’s coloring all of the above, is that I’m not sleeping well. I didn’t really know why until I woke up in the middle of the night (not unusual) and realized I’d been having a bad dream about Pat. I didn’t realize it was affecting me unconsciously that much, I thought I had a good handle on things. Of course I didn’t. It was foolish of me to think I could compartmentalize something like that into a tidy little package.
On the up side, I did raise $1000, thanks to the generosity of my friends and fellow Browncoats. They’re good people.
And I had a lovely dinner with my friend last night. Afterwards, we wound up at the Books-A-Million where I normally go to knit night. The barista told me that they really like knit nights, because it’s kind of slow in there sometimes and our group is very entertaining.
My husband is being very sweet tonight, volunteering to make cookies (with his new stand mixer!) and help Emily with her bath so that I can get a break, which he can tell I need. He’s another tally in the plus column.
It’s not all doom and gloom. Maybe a good night’s sleep will set things to right again.
Take care
Losing a friend is a significant event in our lives. Know that I will be thinking about you and hopeing things will get easier.
Debra Davis
“Mackie” on Ravelry
Take care
Losing a friend is a significant event in our lives. Know that I will be thinking about you and hopeing things will get easier.
Debra Davis
“Mackie” on Ravelry
Maybe slowing down a tad would be good for you. You’ve been a knitting fool for years now and it just keeps getting busier from what I can see. Hugz hun.
Maybe slowing down a tad would be good for you. You’ve been a knitting fool for years now and it just keeps getting busier from what I can see. Hugz hun.
I’m sorry that it feels like the Universe is ganging up on you. I’m thinking of you and I hope you feel better soon. Let me know if I can help out by knitting some Jayne hats for you. I don’t twist my stitches anymore! I’d be happy to help.
I’m sorry that it feels like the Universe is ganging up on you. I’m thinking of you and I hope you feel better soon. Let me know if I can help out by knitting some Jayne hats for you. I don’t twist my stitches anymore! I’d be happy to help.
Kudos to you, for getting all that out of your system and not trying to pretend everything is fine. It can be so hard to be honest about feeling crummy – we mommies are supposed to be the unshakeable rocks, but it ain’t always possible.
Losing someone young and vital to cancer SUCKS. I am so, so sorry for her, and for everyone she loved who is now aching from her absence. I’ve been there; in time it does get easier but it never gets better.
Nice to know they find us entertaining at BAM, though!
Kudos to you, for getting all that out of your system and not trying to pretend everything is fine. It can be so hard to be honest about feeling crummy – we mommies are supposed to be the unshakeable rocks, but it ain’t always possible.
Losing someone young and vital to cancer SUCKS. I am so, so sorry for her, and for everyone she loved who is now aching from her absence. I’ve been there; in time it does get easier but it never gets better.
Nice to know they find us entertaining at BAM, though!
Maybe try some melatonin? Or this herbal thing I’ve found called Deep Sleep, which comes in drop form?
Your husband is a good guy for helping you out when you need it. You know you can’t do everything for everybody; just focus on doing the things you can do and doing them well, albeit a bit slowly if necessary.
The other commenters are right on. Good for you for noticing this. That’s the first step to figuring out how to fix it, whether it’s slow or quick.
I’ll be thinking about you 🙂
Maybe try some melatonin? Or this herbal thing I’ve found called Deep Sleep, which comes in drop form?
Your husband is a good guy for helping you out when you need it. You know you can’t do everything for everybody; just focus on doing the things you can do and doing them well, albeit a bit slowly if necessary.
The other commenters are right on. Good for you for noticing this. That’s the first step to figuring out how to fix it, whether it’s slow or quick.
I’ll be thinking about you 🙂
Hugs, sweetie. I know what you mean about the sleep thing. I feel like I haven’t slept well this week at all. :/
Hugs, sweetie. I know what you mean about the sleep thing. I feel like I haven’t slept well this week at all. :/
I know what you mean. I don’t normally remember my dreams but the last 5 days I’ve been lost or looking for something in all my dreams. 🙁
I know what you mean. I don’t normally remember my dreams but the last 5 days I’ve been lost or looking for something in all my dreams. 🙁
First off T… ::hugs::
Secondly, can you deligate more of the GS stuff? You be the big leader but tell the other moms. OK next week/month is your month to host, and the next one is yours, and then you… Maybe if you set up the ideas and the schedule folks will step up and do the work. Give everyone the schedule in writing so they know everyone knows it’s them. 🙂 It may take some of the strain off of you.
First off T… ::hugs::
Secondly, can you deligate more of the GS stuff? You be the big leader but tell the other moms. OK next week/month is your month to host, and the next one is yours, and then you… Maybe if you set up the ideas and the schedule folks will step up and do the work. Give everyone the schedule in writing so they know everyone knows it’s them. 🙂 It may take some of the strain off of you.
Yeah, I sent out an e-mail this morning doing just that. Someone else is going to take this week (I assume, I haven’t gotten replies yet) and we’re going to work out a schedule going forward.
Yeah, I sent out an e-mail this morning doing just that. Someone else is going to take this week (I assume, I haven’t gotten replies yet) and we’re going to work out a schedule going forward.
Re: Take care
Thanks for responding. 🙂
Re: Take care
Thanks for responding. 🙂
((Hugs)) If there’s anything I can do to help (besides the brownie leader thing =P ) Just let me know.
You always have a haven here to get away from it all.
((Hugs)) If there’s anything I can do to help (besides the brownie leader thing =P ) Just let me know.
You always have a haven here to get away from it all.
Good. Don’t need an overly stressed T. ::hugs::
Good. Don’t need an overly stressed T. ::hugs::