Break
I went out last night to buy a dress for Emily after realizing that she has none that fit her properly. I had asked her if she wanted to come along, but she said I should get her one and surprise her.
Since I was at the mall, I decided to stop at the Apple Store. I went to the back of the store with my determined face on, which tends to deter kiosk vendors and over-eager salespeople. One guy, however, was very friendly and greeted me, so I smiled back and said hi. He looked familiar.
He came up to me as I was pondering games, and said, “Aren’t you that Zork girl?” Aha! Yes! It was Zork guy! We reminisced again about text-based games and he said that I would forever be tied in his mind with that entire genre. I love that! I left him my card so he’d have a name to go with the Zork connection. He’s got a Windows machine now, so he’s going to try to download some and give them another shot for old times’ sake Nice guy, I like him.
I did not, by the way, buy any games. I spent far too much money on my solo weekend, and I’ve got too much other stuff to do to really enjoy a new game anyway.
Everybody’s asked if I was doing wonderful and wild things this weekend. The answer has turned out to be “nope.” Instead I’ve wandered around town doing things I wanted to (hence the spending too much money), and also taking care of a lot of errands like dropping things off at Goodwill, etc. I think there’s been some disappointment on some people’s parts because of that, but there shouldn’t be. It’s still a great break.
When I’m taking care of Emily, there’s a constant blanket of responsibility over my mind. Whatever I’m doing, I have to also have a process running in my mental computer that factors in how it affects my child. When she’s out of town, I don’t have to factor that in. The blanket is peeled off and more of who I used to be is exposed. I can stay up late if I want, knowing that there won’t be a little person stealing my bed at 6am. I can go to the video store and know that I’m free to browse as long as I want without a little person getting bored, or having to subconsciously keep constant tabs on her location. I can play my music loudly, even the stuff like Ike Reilly that has lyrics that are obscene.
life is definitely different without my daughter around. Nonetheless, I’ll be very glad to have her back today.