| If you were intending to buy a Amalfi striped 8×10 rug for US$650.00, you could instead buy: |
- twelve thousand, two hundred and thirteen 5mm light-emitting diodes
- a low-end camcorder
- twenty-five days of rent for a 2-bedroom terraced house in central England
- three hours with a London prostitute
- two hundred and sixty-seven quarter-pounders with cheese
- sixteen kilograms of cheese
- one hundred and eight kilograms of honey
- three grams of heroin
- one day of chart music on CD
- eight thousand, one hundred and seventy-six small plastic zombies
|
| What are you thinking of buying? |
|
|
Hell, no, I’m not buying a $650 rug that my cat would claw to ribbons anyway. But I gotta say, those zombies are very tempting. I only got 100 with my copy of Zombies!!! and you never know when you might need eight thousand and seventy six spares.
Zombies!!! is a fun board game put out by a small company, and I enjoy it. If you prefer your zombie action online, though, there’s always The Urban Dead.
7am: Tiff with husband.
8am: Take daughter to dentist. Find out she’s got a cavity in a permanent molar, which didn’t come in that long ago. Dentist believes this means she has unusually weak enamel and will need to be very careful throughout her life. Discuss using nitrous oxide to put the whammy on my daughter while filling her cavity. I tell him I need to do more research first.
9am: Run over chipmunk while taking daughter to school.
Lordy, I’m afraid to do anything else today.
ETA:
11am: Say “screw it!” and go to Original Pancake House. Order gigantic Dutch Baby filled with fresh strawberries, accompanied by bacon, skim milk, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. Eat half, take rest home to drown more sorrows in later.
Take THAT, crappy day!