Kiss My Knits!

I’ve spent my fair share of time in TV writing, but lemme tell you, NEVER was I so foolish as to actually type out what I may have been thinking, just in case I was stupid enough to forget to delete it.

Having said that, check the next to the last paragraph here.

Apparently, the writer has been fired, the link is gone from the station’s website, and the station manager has issued bajillions of apologies.

Yes, I am amused.

I ran across this auction and just had to share. My question is, how the heck can it be that the person who listed it didn’t even mention that it looks exactly like O Captain My Captain? Did she really not notice? Or is it just me that wants to stroke its head and whisper sweet nothings into its ear?

ETA: My husband, who apparently has time on his hands at work today, sends this to me. Damn, this would have been great to bring to Simucon!

We got a letter in the mail today. Apparently we are in violation of City Code Chapter 10 “Health and Sanitation” or a particular subsection thereof.

In a nutshell, our grass is too long. The cutoff (so to speak) is 12 inches, which I think we’re probably just a hair shy of.

Now we have seven days to cut it or we’ll be fined or some such. Rather, we have seven days from last Thursday, and it’s raining now. I called to get an extension.

I asked the woman at the city office what would have prompted this, whether it was a neighbor complaining, or someone driving through the neighborhood, or what, and she said it could have been either.

The thing is, while we do keep to ourselves, we’re very reasonable people. We’re friendly, wave to the neighbors, know their names (except the new folks) and exchange mail and such when it gets mis-delivered. We have one neighbor we’ve known for 30 years, whom I stop and chat with often. One other keeps an immaculate lawn, but seems like a nice guy when we speak. The other has just moved in and I think is in the process of renting the place. I’ve gone over and said hi, though, and welcomed them in.

So why on earth would one file some sort of action against us instead of just coming over and saying, “Hi, we’re trying to rent the place and would like to you to keep your lawn tidier to make it easier,” or “Hi, I’m worried that your crabgrass is overrunning my lawn,” or “Hi, it’s really bugging me that your lawn is overgrown, would you mind trimming it?” We’re not going to go medieval on anyone. Honestly, folks.

I don’t know what ever happened to going with the direct approach first. Give people the benefit of the doubt.

It’s raining harder, and it just fits my mood. Ah, well.

In fairness to Vaschon, whom I mocked last week for rolling a 1 when shooting at kobolds, I have to post the following. Same cavern, kobolds again, except this time we got the drop on them. A couple of rounds have passed, and the cleric (Deryka) has made it to melee.

Cut because it’s long as heck.

So I mentioned on Cadaya’s journal that I had been part of a play by e-mail D&D game that flopped before we even saw combat because the GM just suddenly stopped mailing. Today he wrote to tell us what was going on.

Hello all, I am finally back after a few days (weeks?) in the hospital.

(name)

I don’t know about you, but I now feel much better about all the crappy things that are going on in my life. I mean, yeah, family troubles, PDD daughter, mounting bills, drugs for depression… but at least I didn’t get treatable illness that progressed to leave me with no rib cage.

Yes, definitely feeling better about life.

Hey, pambunny!

I have a friend who’s going to Malaysia on business. Is there anything you’d like to have brought to you from the good ole U S of A?

So a while back, I threw away a lollipop stick in the bathroom trash. (You have five year olds, you have sweet sticky things everywhere. Often including the five year old.) It attracted ants. I scrubbed the bathroom and lay out some borax, so they moved into the computer room, where a couple of stray honey-o’s had been left on the floor. So I cleaned the computer room and they marched into the kitchen, where they found the brown sugar, peanut butter, you name it. So I cleaned the kitchen and set out traps, and after many days, they were gone.

Four days ago was the last confirmed ant sighting.

So today I do the dishes, which have piled up to a disgraceful degree now that I don’t have to worry about the ants anymore. I clean the counter, and move some of the little boxes of stuff at the rear of the counter aside, and what do I find?

Mouse droppings. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

What. The. Hell! Did the ants subcontract out? Did they hire someone who could chew through boxes for them? And why is it still here? We have cats! Did we train them too well not to go on the counter, or are they just lazy and fat? Scratch that, they’re just lazy and fat. Perhaps if the mouse saunters between their paws and does a little dance, they’ll take care of it, but otherwise, I think we’re on our own.

So we’ll put out a Hav-A-Hart trap and set it free in the woods a ways from our house. Then perhaps the animals will pool their resources and hire a rat. Followed, I predict, by a mongoose and possibly a bear.

Grrrrrr.

ETA: I was just doing a puzzle on the living room floor with my daughter. An ant crawled across it. Great.

I really find I’m looking forward to the D&D game each week. I don’t have a lot of friends here in town, and the ones I do are in situations that make it awkward for us to get together right now. One cannot conceive, and so our child, I think, is a bit of a sore spot. The other is pregnant, and I think that my presence may remind her that not all children turn out perfectly normal, and that’s a very scary thought when you’re about to have one of your own. That leaves my cousin and his wife, who are going through a very sad and painful separation. So the D&D game is a good outlet.

The count so far: 12 dead kobolds. One dwarf in a pit. One unconscious Blasword. One cleric with a sunrod fetish. One mage on serious drugs. 400 gold being carried by me. Me! Meeeeeeee!!!

Er… yes. Sorry. Got carried away.

So thanks, party guys and DM, I’m having a blast. This is exactly what I need.

And because I have to tweak the Elf (and not in a naughty way):

OnlineHost: (Vaschon) rolled 1 20-sided die: 1
(Vaschon): omg
DRTvini: I’m lovin’ it!
(Tessima) Hah.
(Blasword):lol
DRTvini: holy crap. I’m glad I’m not in front of you.
Cadaya:
Deryka: I throw the sunrod at the kobolds so we’re not night-blind.
Deryka: Did he just shoot himself?
Cadaya: Roll again, (Vaschon).
DRTvini: I’m day blind!
(Blasword): Does the stalactite look sturdy?
OnlineHost: (Vaschon) rolled 1 20-sided die: 4
Cadaya: That’s a fumble threat. We need to see if you actually… yes, yes you do.
Deryka: He lives?
Cadaya: You fumble.
DRTvini: oh, that’s muuuuch better.
Deryka: Bah.
(Vaschon): ::mumble::
Deryka: How bad?
Cadaya: The arrow goes whizzing up into the air, hits the ceiling, and then clunks down right in the middle of the kobolds. They all look down at it, look at each other, stand up, and grab their weapons.
Cadaya: They see you now.
DRTvini: Haaa!
(Blasword): clunks!
(Blasword): do we roll initiative yet?
DRTvini: We are so toast.
(Vaschon): Holds his head in his hand and slowly shakes his head.

DRTvini: Sooo… “Kendra ate Bindi!” and the actions are… uh… hm.

DRTvini: She’s playing with her dolls.

(Tessima): (laugh!) WHAT?

DRTvini: Well, they do all sleep in the bed. And the Groovy Boys can’t seem to keep their pants up.

DRTvini: I didn’t realize it was quite the little orgy that’s apparently going on.

(Tessima): Oh my gosh. That’s hilarious.

DRTvini: But it’s fair. Because then, “Bindi ate Kendra!”

(Tessima): Journal.

DRTvini: It’s a little multi-cultural lovefest.

(Tessima): Journal, with links to the dolls.

DRTvini: Haa!

DRTvini: Naw.

DRTvini: I have my reputation as “sweet and pure” to uphold.

(Tessima): Sweet and pure knitter of scarves and director of dream weddings.

(Tessima): And host of doll orgies.

DRTvini: I should have known something was up when (she) started going “bamp chicka chika wyioooooow!”

Thank goodness my daughter can’t access the internet alone yet. When she can, I’m gonna have to pay for years of therapy.