Kiss My Knits!

Em is one of those examples of why you shouldn’t make assumptions about people based on their diagnoses. She is hyperactive and has autism and a central auditory processing disorder (the CAPD is a new finding). She therefore sometimes has trouble understanding spoken and written language and why people do the things they do. But she’s a ham. Get her up on stage and she’s in heaven. I’ve written before about her triumphal karaoke surprise, her desire to be cast in a play, and her stint at drama camp. And for the past three years she’s participated in the school talent show.

In third grade, she got up on stage and told jokes. Apparently she got some good laughs. Last year she sang a song, using props she made out of construction paper that day in school. This year, she’s managed to recruit some other kids for her act.

That’s right, Em has minions.

She decided on her song (Cereal Girl, a Material Girl parody linked below) and got two girls to be her background singers. The next day two more girls asked if they could join in. I printed up the lyrics to her chosen song and she passed them out, and the girls have been practicing at recess. The talent show will be on the last day of school during the day. It’s traditionally for the kids, not the parents.

I wonder if I could sneak in…

Last week I started the scarf for which I’d dyed the alpaca/silk. It was going to be a gift for one of Em’s special area teachers at her school. I realized a few rows in that the lace pattern was going to be too time-consuming to do before school ended, so I unraveled it. Instead, I’m doing bookmarks for her teachers, and will figure out something else to add to the gift. Perhaps Borders gift cards, to continue the book theme. Em picked out the colors of wool/silk embroidery thread for each teacher, so they’re personalized by Em.

Even though I only need to make four of them, it’s still going to be close. It’s Can’t Stop The Serenity season and I want to be sure everyone gets a Jayne hat in time. Astonishingly, only ONE screening asked for a charity hat this year, and that was our local one here in Charlotte. Usually between five and ten venues ask.

I think because the events are volunteer run, organizers are sometimes shy about asking. I say you never know until you ask. I know it gets old having doors slammed in your face, but some of us will say yes.

Anyway. Bookmark #1 is blocking, as you can see. Bookmarks 2-4 will have different patterns. And I’ll be sending out a couple more Jayne hats once the post office opens again tomorrow.

Dear Harris Teeter,

I am by nature a very “glass half full” person.

However, that does not mean I am okay with discovering that my tub o’ Harris Teeter brand cream cheese is half full. Of air. On the bottom.

Sincerely,

Tvini

Behold! This 1962 McCall’s Needlework Magazine bring us proof positive that time travel is possible!

Clearly the lady on the right in the cunning Jayne hat sweater is a Browncoat who has gone back to the past. My theory: she’s going to knock off a future FOX executive or two and prevent one of television’s greatest tragedies from occurring. And I am not talking about Cop Rock.

Keep flying, you amazing time-skipper. Keep flying.

Save the whales!

This morning while doing my grocery shopping I picked up a bagel from Harris Teeter for breakfast. Instead of the usual paper bags with the codes printed on them, they had plastic bags. I pulled one off the roll and tried to open it. I shook it, I rubbbed it between my palms, I tried everything but it just wouldn’t open. I went at it longer than I should have, assuming that since it was 7:30 in the morning I must not quite be up to speed yet.

Then I examined the bag more closely. It was a single piece of plastic. There was no back to the bag, just the printed front. I might as well have been trying to open a sheet of paper.

Sayeth my husband: “Ask them to see the video before they post it on youtube.”

Heh. I may have started my day trying to accomplish the impossible, but at least it was funny.

I don’t think it would occur to me to give a small girl a home permanent.