In which I blow a breakthrough.
Today when Emily got out of school, she told me she’d gotten a green. Green means good behavior on their stoplight system. Nothing was written in her planner, so I took her at her word.
While we were at Starbucks, she told me she’d gotten upset during “Partner Time Around The World Worksheet” which apparently has something to do with clocks and telling time. She added that she was better later. I was very excited to hear her say this, because this is the first time she’s volunteered that she’d had trouble during the day. It’s usually pulling teeth to get details out of her.
Later, I got a note from her teacher saying that she’d had gotten a “class pass” today, meaning she’d had to leave the classroom because she was being disruptive. Since nothing had been written in her planner, I assumed this meant that she had NOT gotten a green, as she said, but had fibbed. Earlier, we had gone by Blockbuster to get a video that she’d been wanting, so I went into the den to talk to her as she was watching it.
“Your teacher tells me you got a class pass. Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“But you told me you got a green. You got a green AND a class pass?”
“Yes!”
“If I call Ms. Falls and ask her, what will she tell me?”
“Yes…No.”
“Will she tell me you got a green?”
“No.”
So I told her that I was upset about her not telling me the truth and gave a little lecture, and took her movie out of the DVD player, telling her we weren’t watching it today. She kept saying, “why?” and I ran over it again twice, then went with, “I explained why” and left it at that because she seemed to me to be arguing for arguing’s sake. Then I called her teacher to find out what happened, because it’s really not like Emily to say she got a green when she didn’t. Deception is not her strong suit.
Apparently, after you get a class pass, you start over at green when you go back into the classroom, so that you have a fresh start to try to turn the day around. Emily was telling the truth. She did get a green and a class pass. So when she told me she got a green, and also told me about getting upset but that she got better, THAT was the truth. I misinterpreted the teacher’s e-mail to me. And then probably confused her while grilling her.
Well, crap.
I talked to Emily again, telling her that I’d spoken with her teacher and she said that Emily had gotten a green and a class pass, and that now I understood, and that while I wasn’t happy about her getting upset and having to leave, I was glad that she had told me the truth. And we could watch her movie. Unfortunately, she had no desire to watch the movie – either she felt she had to stick with what I said earlier, or it was tainted. She seems okay with us watching it tomorrow, so hopefully it’ll be okay.
She was fine about 15 minutes after, wanting to play with me like everything was fine. My recovery took a little longer.
Yeah, I feel like a grade A heel.
Oh that sucks. But good on you for sorting out what actually happened, imagine how much worse it could have been if you hadn’t.
Also opens up excellent possibilites for Emily’s future as a spin doctor. 🙂
Oh that sucks. But good on you for sorting out what actually happened, imagine how much worse it could have been if you hadn’t.
Also opens up excellent possibilites for Emily’s future as a spin doctor. 🙂
*hugs*
*hugs*
What? You failed to consult the child’s manual you got when she was born, you know the one every parent gets so they always know exactly what to say and do in regards to their child? What a bad bad person you are 😛
So you made an assumption that did just as assumptions will do. Point me to a parent that hasn’t. Keep in mind – you could have been just as right as you could have been wrong. Those are odds not many people will gamble with. Beat yourself up too hard now, and you’re going to find yourself second guessing everything from this point on.
The kid forgave you – so forgive yourself. Or else 🙂
What? You failed to consult the child’s manual you got when she was born, you know the one every parent gets so they always know exactly what to say and do in regards to their child? What a bad bad person you are 😛
So you made an assumption that did just as assumptions will do. Point me to a parent that hasn’t. Keep in mind – you could have been just as right as you could have been wrong. Those are odds not many people will gamble with. Beat yourself up too hard now, and you’re going to find yourself second guessing everything from this point on.
The kid forgave you – so forgive yourself. Or else 🙂
Ouuuch. But really, what Trib said. We all make mistakes, and I betcha anything she’s gonna be just fine. And good for you, taking the time to call her teacher and get the whole story. 🙂
Ouuuch. But really, what Trib said. We all make mistakes, and I betcha anything she’s gonna be just fine. And good for you, taking the time to call her teacher and get the whole story. 🙂
This is your mother. Nobody is a perfect mother. You just do your best. Trust me. But look how great you turned out.
Mom
This is your mother. Nobody is a perfect mother. You just do your best. Trust me. But look how great you turned out.
Mom
Words of wisdom.
Words of wisdom.
Yeah, my mom’s pretty wonderful that way. 🙂
Yeah, my mom’s pretty wonderful that way. 🙂
awww, I have days like that too! *hugs* kids can be so forgiving, sometimes it helps to learn from THEM 😉
awww, I have days like that too! *hugs* kids can be so forgiving, sometimes it helps to learn from THEM 😉
It always seems to take the parent much longer to heal from things like this than the kid. I remember just wanting to know when the storm was over and I could go do what I wanted again. Now, I worry over whether I’m teaching my son bad habits or discouraging good ones or making him weaker or…
It’s like the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book from hell.
It always seems to take the parent much longer to heal from things like this than the kid. I remember just wanting to know when the storm was over and I could go do what I wanted again. Now, I worry over whether I’m teaching my son bad habits or discouraging good ones or making him weaker or…
It’s like the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book from hell.
Agreed!
Agreed!
Don’t be hard on yourself. You only ever want the best for her, but you also expect the best from her, and jumping to conclusions happens.
Don’t be hard on yourself. You only ever want the best for her, but you also expect the best from her, and jumping to conclusions happens.