Mixed feelings.
For my daughter’s birthday, she wanted to have a party at “My Gym” with all her classmates. Most of them speak Spanish as their first language, so I dutifully sent out invitations with my phone number, directions, etc., in English with a Spanish translation at the bottom. My Spanish isn’t great, but it’s existent. We also invited some cousins she has here in town. We got no RSVPs except from her kindergarten teacher, who was going to bring her son. We rented out “My Gym” for a party, a three hour block of time at a cost of several hundred dollars. We bought a cake, ice cream, and punch.
You know who showed up? Yep, nobody but the teacher and her kid. It was my daughter, all alone with the music blaring, and me and my husband and my parents, and the kindergarten teacher with her toddler. And none of her friends.
Saddest. thing. Ever.
But kids are resilient. She went outside a number of times during the first half hour looking for folks, but she got over it before 45 minutes were up. We explained to her that her friends wanted to come, but they couldn’t. Most of them didn’t have cars. (Actually, we think that’s true, 75% of her classmates are from Latin America and according to the teacher don’t have a lot of money. I don’t even know if the concept of RSVP – though I didn’t use that term – is universal. Also, this was the day before the pope died, and we think some were probably going to Mass.) We decided that what the hell, we had three hours booked, it’s not like they could suddenly find another birthday party to fit in, so we’d use the place, by gum. And we did. God bless the folks at “My Gym,” they really made sure she had a good time. They offered to halve the fee, but I didn’t feel right doing that since if we hadn’t been there, they definitely could have booked another party that would have paid them full fee – and they did work their keisters off.
That was around April 1st.
Tonight, I got a call from the mother of one of the other kids in Emily’s class. She spoke only Spanish, but I managed to communicate with her well enough to establish that she wanted to know if, because they’re doing some kind of kindergarten graduation thing tomorrow, we were supposed to bring our kids in at 9 when the ceremony started, or bring them in at 7 as usual. I was able to get across the correct info.
I could not figure out why she was calling me, when I’ve never spoken to her before in my life, don’t speak Spanish as well as most of the other parents, and our kids don’t have any special bond besides attending the same class.
Then I realized – she must have kept the invitation which had my phone number on it, and I guess I was the only parent whose phone number she knew.
She kept the invitation from mid-March until now.
1) I admire her resourcefulness in thinking of that resource and utilizing it.
2) I am angry that she chose to not breathe a word about not attending my kid’s party.
3) I am pleased that I was able to summon enough Spanish to communicate with this woman.
4) I’m just damn pissed at the world in general, because my kid is trying to reach out to others but doesn’t know how, and the world isn’t making it any easier.
Time for bed.
GAH! That is SO horrible. 🙁 I am so, so sorry. Poor kiddo. 🙁
GAH! That is SO horrible. 🙁 I am so, so sorry. Poor kiddo. 🙁
What a courageous girl you have, but I feel so sad for what happened. I would have come, and brought Sadie and Dex if I weren’t, you know, elsewhere in the country.
What a courageous girl you have, but I feel so sad for what happened. I would have come, and brought Sadie and Dex if I weren’t, you know, elsewhere in the country.
That kinda sucks.
But I was reading through it, and I was thinking maybe there was a miscommunication somewhere? You used an invitation card. I don’t know about Spanish culture, but that’s could be a little too formal for them, especially since they don’t speak english well. Actually making an attempt to give them a call, with the invite, just to make sure might have helped I think.
Whenever we have chinese weddings in my family, we send out cards…but we don’t necessarily rsvp. But we still show up anyway. 🙂 Because some of my family members are poor, we usually just call each other up and let people know that “Hey, wedding on this date, can you make it? Great! Bring the kids!”
So a card may not have been the best way to get a response, yea or nay.
I don’t even think they thought it was wrong not to respond back to say “Sorry, we can’t make it.” So the mom probably didn’t think anything of it.
That kinda sucks.
But I was reading through it, and I was thinking maybe there was a miscommunication somewhere? You used an invitation card. I don’t know about Spanish culture, but that’s could be a little too formal for them, especially since they don’t speak english well. Actually making an attempt to give them a call, with the invite, just to make sure might have helped I think.
Whenever we have chinese weddings in my family, we send out cards…but we don’t necessarily rsvp. But we still show up anyway. 🙂 Because some of my family members are poor, we usually just call each other up and let people know that “Hey, wedding on this date, can you make it? Great! Bring the kids!”
So a card may not have been the best way to get a response, yea or nay.
I don’t even think they thought it was wrong not to respond back to say “Sorry, we can’t make it.” So the mom probably didn’t think anything of it.
I also thought that an invitation card alone wouldn’t be enough, and so I included a note with two paragraphs of “please call me, here’s where the place is located, dress to play, forgive me horrible Spanish, this is going to be fun” etc.
I didn’t have the kids’ phone numbers – it’s a public school, and there are privacy and security concerns with giving out the children’s phone numbers. Honestly, if I had been able to, my Spanish just ain’t that good. I distributed the invitations by bringing them to school and asking the teacher to put them in the kids’ backpacks. And I know they got there promptly because a classmate called Emily on the phone that afternoon, so clearly she had our phone number at that point.
Yeah, there may have been (and probably was) a miscommunication – see above comment about my Spanish sucking – but I’m not sure what went wrong that 20 separate mothers, a few of whom were not native Spanish speakers, decided not to show up.
Why did it happen? I don’t know. All I know is that my daughter’s birthday party had 20 kid invitees, but 1 toddler and five adult attendees.
I also thought that an invitation card alone wouldn’t be enough, and so I included a note with two paragraphs of “please call me, here’s where the place is located, dress to play, forgive me horrible Spanish, this is going to be fun” etc.
I didn’t have the kids’ phone numbers – it’s a public school, and there are privacy and security concerns with giving out the children’s phone numbers. Honestly, if I had been able to, my Spanish just ain’t that good. I distributed the invitations by bringing them to school and asking the teacher to put them in the kids’ backpacks. And I know they got there promptly because a classmate called Emily on the phone that afternoon, so clearly she had our phone number at that point.
Yeah, there may have been (and probably was) a miscommunication – see above comment about my Spanish sucking – but I’m not sure what went wrong that 20 separate mothers, a few of whom were not native Spanish speakers, decided not to show up.
Why did it happen? I don’t know. All I know is that my daughter’s birthday party had 20 kid invitees, but 1 toddler and five adult attendees.
When I was a kid
in K-2 grade, most of the kids had those classroom parties where they invited all the kids in the class, and at the time, it was considered pretty much the standard for the parent to call either way, with acceptance or regrets, just so that the planning mom could figure out food and all that.
I guess times have changed?
When I was a kid
in K-2 grade, most of the kids had those classroom parties where they invited all the kids in the class, and at the time, it was considered pretty much the standard for the parent to call either way, with acceptance or regrets, just so that the planning mom could figure out food and all that.
I guess times have changed?
I give gigantic props and odes of strength to your daughter, because if it had been me at that age, I probably would have gone to play in traffic.
She’s a wonderful kid.
I give gigantic props and odes of strength to your daughter, because if it had been me at that age, I probably would have gone to play in traffic.
She’s a wonderful kid.
All I can say is “Awwwwwwwww”, with a tear in my eye. Special kid you got there. Not sure my gurls would have handled that nearly as well.
All I can say is “Awwwwwwwww”, with a tear in my eye. Special kid you got there. Not sure my gurls would have handled that nearly as well.
Ugh. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves – people who don’t contact you until they need something from you. I’m so sorry about your daughter’s birthday party! It sounds like she was a real trooper about the whole thing, which is good, under the circumstances.
I can definitely understand your being pissed about it, language barriers or no. I would be livid. I repeat, ugh.
Ugh. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves – people who don’t contact you until they need something from you. I’m so sorry about your daughter’s birthday party! It sounds like she was a real trooper about the whole thing, which is good, under the circumstances.
I can definitely understand your being pissed about it, language barriers or no. I would be livid. I repeat, ugh.