Kiss My Knits!

Hey, I never posted any highlights from last week’s game! Hugely long, so it’s behind a cut.

(Tessima is not with us in this adventure.)

Blasword: Is (Deryka) having the same troubles? Or is she not here?
GM Cadaya: I dunno where she is.
Vaschon: Har
DRTvini: I swear, get someone’s brain sucked out ONCE and they carry a grudge forever.
Blasword: Well, you were carrying our gold, we had no choice but to follow you.
Blasword:: Paddywagon Pete would never have done such a heinous act
DRTvini: Paddywagon Pete would have pissed in his shorts and fled.
Blasword:: Yes, thus keeping the gold safe and sound.
DRTvini: Touche.
DR Deryka: Sowwies. ::hides::
Blasword:: I vote that we condemn (Deryka).
Vaschon: For some reason, my brain itches

GM Cadaya: OK, so everyone knows about our new players, right?
Blasword:: Wha?
GM Cadaya: Er, singular.
DR Deryka: ?
Blasword:: Is the Mind Flayer joining out team?
GM Cadaya: Oh, I guess (Blasword) doesn’t know.
GM Cadaya: We’re going to be having a new player join us. Maybe next week.
Blasword:: Ah. Newbie like me or seasoned pro?
DR Deryka: Let’s recruit the mind flayer.
GM Cadaya: Somewhere in the middle.
Blasword:: “I’m puzzled as what to do guys, lets ask the Mind Flayer”
GM Cadaya: It’s (blank), in case there’s anyone else I didn’t tell.
DRTvini: I see you are all under the thrall of the mind flayer still.
GM Cadaya: (Blank’s alias), (Blasword).
DR Deryka: (Blank!)
Blasword:: Voice of the Mind Flayer: Ah yes, well first we need to get some onions and some SWEEET BRAINS OMG OMG BRAINS…er where was I.
Blasword:: ahh
Vaschon: I had a strange dream I saw the Dwarf naked
DRTvini: Hahahahaaaaa!
DRTvini: And ew, (Vaschon).
DRTvini: I’m sure that never happened.
Blasword:: I’ll try not to scare her.
Vaschon: That was my reaction too
DR Deryka: Well she did strip before jumping in the lava bath.
DRTvini: Hey! Look, just because you’re used to twigly Elven ladies is no reason to balk at a full-figured, muscular, hairy Dwarven gal.
DR Deryka: Twigly?
Blasword: Twigly.
DR Deryka: ::makes a note::
DRTvini: It’s a word!
N A McD: Two words (Tvini), Bikini bare
DRTvini: Anyway, now it is a word.
DRTvini: Marty has sensitive skin.
DR Deryka: So if I asked for a twigly alteration, you’d approve it? :flees:
DRTvini: No.
DR Deryka: Darn.
Blasword:: )Look stick )The stick, which is made of wood, is almost twigly in apparance.

GM Cadaya: (Deryka,) tell her you’re still a GM.
DRTvini: Blasword understands me.
GM Cadaya: She’s easily confused.
DRTvini: Wait, (Deryka’s) not a GM???
GM Cadaya: Neither am I, Heather.
GM Cadaya: And (Tessima), too.
DR Deryka: You’re so confusing (Cadaya). Stop that.
DRTvini: I’m clearly under the thrall of a mind flayer.
DR Deryka: You and me both.
DRTvini: And that mind flayer’s name is (Cadaya).
Blasword: I don’t suppose it would be confusing at all if I said I wasn’t a GM either 🙁
GM Cadaya: All the cool people already left GMing, so you’re not missing much.
DRTvini: Hey!
Vaschon: hmph
GM Cadaya: I mean… uh… present company excluded. (snicker)
DRTvini: No more sushi for you, pal.
Vaschon: uh huh
DR Deryka: You go girl!
Blasword:: heh.
GM Cadaya: Actually, (Tvini) did buy me sushi. As a bribe.
Blasword:: from that college sushi delivery place?
GM Cadaya: So you should all thank her for the fact that I’m going to rewind time for you idiots.
Blasword:: with the mold?
DRTvini: I make the problem, I fix the problem.

GM Cadaya: So, I’ve rewound time to before you stepped on the platforms. We’re treating it as a valuable lesson for everybody.
GM Cadaya: What do you do now?
DRTvini: Wonder where the hell my damn sushi is.
Blasword: Step on the platform?
DRTvini: stare (Blasword).
Vaschon: search the room
Tessima: Hahaha. (she popped in to watch us be morons)
DR Deryka: Go back out and camp.
Blasword: Pete wants to go back to the second room with the barrels of oil.
DRTvini: I say, “If that creature is responsible for harming my Dwarven brothers and sisters, I must avenge…” Marty spots something shiny and gets distracted.
DRTvini: Marty says, “I’m sorry, what was I saying?”
Vaschon: points to the Dwarf, points to the platform, shakes his finger.

Vaschon: says to the Dwarf, “How about that Mindflayer?”
DRTvini: How about that what?
Vaschon: scratches his head.
DRTvini: Oh, right, that thing that was fighting the figure in the room that then disappeared!
DRTvini: Yep, that was somethin’. Can you believe I resisted its charms? I’m very lucky!
DR Deryka: Where did he go…?
DR Deryka: Hm.
DR Deryka: So we’re all heading out to camp for the night and rest?
Vaschon: looks at the Dwarf sarcastically saying, “Indeed.”
GM Cadaya: So… leaving, checking oil room, what? Let’s decide.
Blasword: leaving.
Vaschon: leave, rest, go back
Blasword: now the elf is cooking with gas!
GM Cadaya: All right.
GM Cadaya: As you step forth from the mine into the outside world…
GM Cadaya: You see that you are not alone.
DRTvini: There’s a mindflayer!
Blasword: Or his evil twin!
DR Deryka: It’s a dwarf with a big ole sack of gold and a cure for the plague?
GM Cadaya: You seem to be surrounded by what look like soldiers.
DR Deryka: Hm. Let’s give ’em the mage.
GM Cadaya: Each of them is carrying a crossbow, with the exception of the leader, who is holding a drawn sword.
DR Deryka: ::ducks::
Blasword: Pete says, “Ahhh crap…er I mean…::he ponders for a moment:: Ah crap.

At this point, we discover that the mayor lied to us when he gave us some cash to investigate the mines in connection with a plague sweeping the village. There is no plague in the town, and he clearly sent the imperial guard after us and told them we were thieves. Jerkwad. So we all get marched back to town, amid a barrage of amazing lies and attempts to bluff by Paddywagon Pete, and they try to load us into a cart to ship us off.

DR Deryka: I sneeze on the soldier trying to shove me in the carriage.
GM Cadaya: He pushes Cleric harder.
DR Deryka: Can I throw up on cue?
Vaschon: Hey! Don’t break any of our sunrods.
GM Cadaya: No.
Blasword: Pete/Valastior says to the guard, “Hey! Don’t manhandle my wife! She’s pregnant!”
Vaschon: I roll my eyes
DR Deryka: Hearing Pete, I obligingly swoon, falling away from the carriage.
Blasword: “My wife! You scoundrel!!”
Vaschon: I tell them about Daisy, she was with us. (Daisy is Tessima’s character.)
Blasword: “Oh my…by the gods!! My wife! My child!!!”
Vaschon: Wasn’t she a soldier?
DR Deryka: Ya.
GM Cadaya: You realize you haven’t seen the sorcerer since the soldiers came.
DRTvini: I shriek and flail my arms.
GM Cadaya: You wonder where she is.
DR Deryka: I hang like a dead weight, drooling on the top of a soldier’s head.
DRTvini: Daisy ain’t no spy. Why, she encouraged me to step on the… oh, right.
Blasword: “My wife! My poor wife! Please be gentle with her!!!”
Vaschon: Speak of the flower
GM Cadaya: So I’m assuming we’re done drawing out the being put into the cart section? (g)
DRTvini: “Is this any way to treat a lady??”
DRTvini: Hmph.
DR Deryka: I’m trying to unnerve the soldiers. If I can’t, then he must be in on the ruse. 😛
DRTvini: Some people have no appreciation for over the top melodrama.
DR Deryka: ::nods sagely to (Tvini)::

We’re taken to the castle and thrown into the dungeon.

GM Cadaya: They take you to an empty set of cells, and throw you all in, two per cell — with cleric being tossed into a cell with someone else.
Blasword: “My wife!!!”
Blasword: Wait no, theres just 4 of us isn’t there?
DR Deryka: “Kid, if you call me your wife one more time, I’m gonna shove a sunrod where the sun DOESN’T shine.”
Vaschon: heh
GM Cadaya: So you are. OK, rogue is alone.
Blasword: I am?
Blasword: God I wish I had those lockpicking skills now.
GM Cadaya: Yes, everyone begged not to be in a cell with you.

Vaschon: Not only am I shackled in a tiny cell, I’m with the Dwarf.
DR Deryka: Did they take my sunrods?
DRTvini: I kick over the bedding with my toe to check for insect infestation, trying to decide whether to sit on it.
DRTvini: Please let them have taken her sunrods.

Blasword: my shackles, are they heavy and hard enough to knock someone unconcious with a blow to the head? Also, I want to search my cell.
DRTvini: I decide to just do some deep knee bends instead, and begin exercising, while huffing and groaning.
OnlineHost: Blasword: rolled 1 20-sided die: 9
GM Cadaya: Rogue finds some urine soaked straw, and some lumps of feces.
Vaschon: heh
Blasword: ew
DRTvini: He gets feces? Lucky rascal.

We were all having connection troubles:

GM Cadaya: OK, I think we should call this a night for the game.
GM Cadaya: Sorry. This is no fun like this.
DRTvini: Damn mind flayers taking over AOL.
DR Deryka: ::rubs::
Blasword: okay back
DRTvini: Thanks anyway, (Cadaya)!
Blasword: We gonna try to keep going?
DRTvini: Naw, we can start fresh in the dungeon next week.
GM Cadaya: No, this is way too annoying.
Blasword: ah okay.
Blasword: I had fun.
DRTvini: It’ll be a lovely week spent on lice-infested mattresses in urine-soaked cells, trying to fight off the rats.
GM Cadaya: People are dropping left and right and lagging like mad and all that.
GM Cadaya: Anyway, you all get 90 xp.
DR Deryka: Level!
DR Deryka: Wait, we get exp for drooling on guards?
DRTvini: We creatively tried to come up with ways out!
Blasword: Okay, can someoen teach me what to do when I level, if that is what I just did?
DRTvini: Plus you had to handle feces.
DRTvini: Hey, with a level, we should go back and take on the mind flayer!

Aaaaand that’s it until next week!