Kiss My Knits!

OnlineHost: (Vaschon) rolled 1 20-sided die: 1
(Blasword): CRap.
(Vaschon):: OMG
(Blasword): Let him reroll?
(Blasword): Please?
GM Cadaya: Why? (g)
(Blasword): Um.
DRTvini: Now who’s shooting WHO in the ass, eh? Eh?

(Later, we go back to the scene of the battle, since the Elf and Pete were there alone and, sensibly, have fled, and we see…)

(Vaschon): So there is a humanoid figure, a gaunt robed figure (Note, this is a mind flayer), a kobold, a dwarf and a wolf like creature
GM Cadaya: The creature, seeing humanoids arriving, lets lose with a blast of energy toward the newcomers.
GM Cadaya: Dwarf… make a will save.
DR Deryka: Ack.
DR Deryka: We are so out of our league.
OnlineHost: DRTvini rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
(Blasword): YES
GM Cadaya: OMG.
(Vaschon): I mumbled that next time a mayor asks us to do something, we flip him off and go another direction
(Blasword): GO (T_BOMB)
DR Deryka: Go (Tvini)!!!!!
DRTvini: Oh thank God!
GM Cadaya: (cries)
(Vaschon): Woo!
DR Deryka: You SO rock!
(Vaschon): Dwarf power
(Blasword): Thats why they call her the (T-Bomb)
DRTvini: Hee!
GM Cadaya: I am shocked.
(Blasword): The DM is shocked!
(Blasword): Get him!
DRTvini: I am not! For Dwarven minds are notoriously rock-like.
(Tessima): And it’s not just their heads.

(later…)

Blasword, whose character is hereafter christened “Pyro Pete,” decides he wants to fire a flaming crossbow bolt at the enemy.

GM Cadaya: All right. Well, okay. Rogue is going to put his weapons away, kneel down, get out a flint and steel and oil, and start making a fire.
DR Deryka: Next time we stop remind me to give ya some empty sacks to tear up and make fire arrows with.
DRTvini: Haaa!
(Vaschon):: glances at Pete
GM Cadaya: Enemies’ turn.
(Blasword): Good thing I’m in the back.
DRTvini: Are we at melee?
GM Cadaya: The monsters, which do possess intelligence, realize that one of their enemies just made himself a perfect target.
GM Cadaya: They ready their ranged weapons.
DR Deryka: Great, we’re all gonna be pincushions.
(Vaschon):: More like Pyro Pete will be.
(Blasword): Oh crap.
DR Deryka: He’s behind the lot of us.
(Vaschon):: casually steps aside, but discreetly.
DRTvini: glares at the cowardly, cowardly Elf.
(Blasword): Can’t I just decide not to start a fire?
GM Cadaya: Good choice, dude.
(Vaschon):: I’m getting in a better position to shoot, Dwarf.
(Blasword): okay so roll for attack?
DRTvini: Oh. Okay then.
GM Cadaya: Depends. What are you attacking with?
(Blasword): my crossbow of doom
GM Cadaya: Go for it.
OnlineHost: (Blasword) rolled 1 20-sided die: 1
(Blasword): Ah crap.
(Vaschon):: Another ass shot.
(Vaschon):: sigh
(Blasword): I was better of with a fire.
DRTvini: Great.
GM Cadaya: Make a dexterity check.
(Vaschon):: remember! I moved.
DRTvini: Can we have ONE session where someone doesn’t shoot someone else in the ass?
OnlineHost: (Blasword) rolled 1 20-sided die: 8
(Tessima): Apparently not.

(Having killed the gnoll, dwarf, and kobold, we discover that the mind flayer and humanoid figure have disappeared through a teleporter via two pedestals on the floor. I am feeling buoyed by my spate of 20’s.)

DRTvini: I say, “If that creature is responsible for the enslavement of my Dwarven brothers and sisters, I will not let it live!”
(Tessima): I gaze blankly at the Dwarf.
(Vaschon):: Preach on sister Dwarf.
DRTvini: And then I stand on the western pedestal. I’m a doer, not a thinker.
(Blasword):: What if that was his sword!
(Tessima): I shriek and follow the Dwarf. I don’t go anywhere without her.
(Blasword): We must return it! If only for the duration in which he uses it to slay the MindFlayer!
(Tessima): I yell for the Cleric.
GM Cadaya: … oh my god. You’re taking on a mind flayer.
GM Cadaya: Ooookay.
DR Deryka: Let’s go rest first.
(Vaschon):: You only live once
DRTvini: What! It’s gotta be injured, right?
DR Deryka: Then I’ll have healing spells.
(Vaschon):: Good idea cleric
GM Cadaya: Well, dwarf and mage already stepped on the pedestal and vanished.
DRTvini: Pfah. Weaklings.
GM Cadaya: You guys are fucking nuts.

(Everybody piles onto the teleporter. sniff. I love you guys.)

GM Cadaya: You appear in a large cavern. In the background, you see plenty of hot lava flows.
GM Cadaya: It appears that a humanoid body is floating downriver in one of them.
DRTvini: Toasty!
DRTvini: Uh-oh.
GM Cadaya: Standing before you is a mind flayer.
(Tessima): Uh oh.
DR Deryka: I jump back on the platform.
DRTvini: Is there another pedestal beside us?
GM Cadaya: Nothing happens.
DR Deryka: Shriek!!!

(…)

DRTvini: Is it melee close?
(Vaschon):: I look at the Dwarf and say, “It was good while it lasted. Fight well”
Cadaya: Sure, why the hell not.
OnlineHost: DRTvini rolled 1 20-sided die: 4
(Vaschon):: groan
DRTvini: um. that was practice.
DR Deryka: Hee.
GM Cadaya: No, that was missing. (smirk)
DRTvini: D’oh!

(…everybody rolls to make a will save to keep from being stunned…)

DRTvini: Now, see, when we started in here, I didn’t know they could do that auto-kill thing.
Cadaya: Elf and Dwarf are fine. Everyone else is stunned for 10 rounds.
(Blasword): …
(Tessima): I blame the Dwarf, who knows I worship the ground she walks on.
(Tessima): Hey, 15 is nice!
DRTvini: I ponder getting back on the pedestal.

(Elf gets in a hit on the mind flayer, which then sees him as the greatest threat, grapples him, and proceeds to begin sucking his brain out. He fails to escape from the grapple.)

(Vaschon): Marty stop standing around and kick it’s ass!
DRTvini: Elf’s going to have unsightly suction circles on his face.
DR Deryka: So, new adventure sounds good.

(Elf tries again to escape..)

Cadaya: Elf is dead.
OnlineHost: DRTvini rolled 1 20-sided die: 19
DRTvini: There we go.
(Vaschon):: this should be round 4
DRTvini: What??
(Vaschon):: omg
(Blasword): dead?
DR Deryka: He extracted his brain.
DRTvini: No! He’s not dead! He’s just sucked!
Cadaya: Yes. He is now dead.
(Blasword): omh
(Vaschon):: ow
DRTvini: Wait, they can do that?
Cadaya: Yes. I did say this beforehand, too. (G)
(Blasword): what do they do with the brains?
(Vaschon):: glares his last dying glance at Marty.

(This leaves me the only one who can act. The flayer grapples me, I break free, and then we have another go.)

Cadaya: The mind flayer looks at dwarf, and uses its psionic power.
Cadaya: Make a will save.
DRTvini: Ha! I have no mind!
(Blasword): oh god
OnlineHost: DRTvini rolled 1 20-sided die: 1
(Blasword): NO
DRTvini: …anymore.
(Blasword): let her roll again? for the sake of um…everything?
Cadaya: The mind flayer suggests that you feel awfully dirty, and you sure could use a nice bath in that fountain over there.
(Vaschon):: appears before Marty saying, “I’ve come to take you with me.”
DRTvini: Gosh, that bath sounds like a great idea!
(Tessima): Hah.
DR Deryka: Fried Dwarf.
DRTvini: But first, I strip down.
DRTvini: Down to my filthy Dwarven skivvies.
DR Deryka: Wise Dwarf.
(Blasword): now Daisy will have more pants.
DRTvini: Then I stroll over to the fountain and test it with my toe.
DR Deryka: And someone will have a masterwork bastie.
DRTvini: Huh. I wonder why my toe is gone.
(Blasword): We love you Marty.
DRTvini: Oh, well.
DR Deryka: Very warm fountain?
DRTvini: I hold my nose and jump in!
(Tessima): I look STUNNED.
Cadaya: Marty is no more.

Again, guys, really really sorry. D’oh!