The man they call Slater
By now you’ve all heard about Steven Slater, the Jetblue flight attendant who quit his job in spectacular style.
One of my Facebook buddies, Browncoat Brandon Green, pointed out that this guy needed his own Hero of Canton style ballad and wrote the chorus.
Well, I couldn’t resist that. So here, with some rather NSFW language, is…
Chorus by Brandon Green,
the rest by Heather Hill
Slater, the man they call Slater…
He robbed from the beer cart
And he opened the door
stood up to the man (in 5b)
And gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain’t hard to explain
The hero of JetBlue
The man they call Slater…
The jackass in 5b was rushin’,
couldn’t wait for the plane to get in.
And Slater said, “Buddy, quit pushin’
And get your hands outta that bin.”
He said, “You can’t do that while we’re movin’,
Leave your bag, sir, and please sit back down”
But 5b shot back,
“Motherfucker, sneak attack!”
and that bag whacked poor Slater on the crown!
He robbed from the beer cart
And opened the door
stood up to the man
And gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain’t hard to explain
The hero of JetBlue
The man they call Slater…
Now here is what separates heroes
From common folk like you and me
For Slater, they say,
He got on the P.A.,
said, “Fucker, where’s my apology?”
“Every day I do my damndest
to keep you safe and sound when you fly!”
Then he smiled real wide
and he popped the exit slide
and said, “Well now, you can kiss my ass goodbye!”
He robbed from the beer cart
And he opened the door
stood up to the man
And gave him what for
Our love for him now
Ain’t hard to explain
The hero of JetBlue
The man they call Slater!
Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.
That’s brilliant!
Brilliant. Just brilliant.