Kiss My Knits!

GM Vaschon: Your party is in town, and its mid-evening, roughly 10pm. The weather is calm and cloudy.

We go to the local tavern, where Aleanghi tries to get a room and I try to bum a few coins from Torkal on account of Klyx having stolen my purse.

Palin: “If I ever find that thieving scabrous little kobold again I will rip him a new steal-hole.”

Veracity, having gone ahead and gotten a bath, rejoins us, smelling great. Aleanghi slips me a few coins, possibly out of pity, possibly in appreciation for my ragging on Veracity’s new fancy smell.

Veracity: Veracity says genially, “You too could smell less middenheapish, my short and smelly friend. The bathhouse is still open for business. And they have a shallow end.”
Palin: “I don’t take your meaning.”
GM Vaschon: You stank
Veracity: “It is too deep for you.” Veracity nods at Palin and then says, “So what are we doing tonight?”
Palin: Stank is in the nose of the beholder.
Aleanghi: (quietly) Bathing right before we go to a probable fight doesn’t make much sense.
GM Vaschon: Yes, you’ll see one of those soon 🙂

Vaschon’s right. You may recall that under the bar there is a cave. And in the cave there is a bay. And on the bay there is a ship. And the green grass grows all around all around… But I digress. The ship is coming to pick up captives stolen from the town. It may or may not contain the daughter of the local baron, who will richly reward us for returning her. And that ship is coming tonight. There will be no fancy rooms and baths for us. Time to come up with a plan of attack! How will we infiltrate the ship? We consider passing ourselves off as slavers and their “cargo.”

Aleanghi: ‘…and then we’d need to free ourselves at some point, since getting ourselves shipped out as slaves would be rather bad if we can’t actually break out.
Palin: The potential for comic hijinx is very high.
GM Vaschon: You have no idea

We mull over the many, many problems with this plan.
Val: other things we have to consider is if the “slavers” actually end up going on the ship or staying behind.
Palin: We know some of them stayed behind – we ran into Gerti and her crew.
Aleanghi: We’ll also be without our equipment – slaves aren’t going to be going on ship with backpacks. Or familiars.
Veracity: “Oh hells. Lets just pose as shifty sorts needing a quick route out of town.”

We continue to work it out. Do we pretend to be people needing passage? Do we try to smuggle ourselves in with the cargo, assuming there is some? Do we pose as slaves and slavers? Maybe we say the baron has sent us with ransom to retrieve his daughter personally. As Aleanghi says, “There’s just a lot of ways this could go really, horribly, badly wrong. Worse than just death.”

We decide we need to go and actually scope out the venue before making plans. We head over to Scully’s (apparently we were in another bar. How may bars does this town have?) and, since it’s closed, break in and make our way downstairs. The ship isn’t there yet. There’s still a longboat tied to the dock. So some of us stay and keep an eye on the dock while others look around in other areas to see what else is there we might be able to use to complete the illusion that we are slavers and their captives.

We find some corpses, but we can’t make out whether they’re slaves or slavers. There are signs of a struggle, possibly over the card game that is laid out nearby. There are several dark grey hooded cloaks hanging on pegs on the wall. Is this a standard uniform for captives or for their captors?

Aleanghi reports that two figures have entered the dock area. Time’s up. We make a quick decision – well, quick for us – that the slavers should wear the cloaks. Val, Ale, and Torkal will be the captors and the rest of us will be slaves. We get ready.

Val: Val gets out his whip, streaks his mustache into a quirky yet menacing style.
Val: Val gets out rope and prepares to bind the other party members
Palin: Palin, sans eyebrows, filthy, already looks sufficiently beaten down.
Bentein: Bentein tends to look like a peasant when he’s not wearing magical plate armor.
Palin: Palin cannot believe she is going to be deliberately tied up instead of accidentally.

The captives hand their gear to the captors. Palin keeps a knife in her raggedy boot, just in case. And now… showtime!

GM Vaschon: One of the crew gets out and says, “You’re late.”
Val: Val turns back and hisses at Veracity to get down in a nasty voice. Val cracks his whip
Veracity: Veracity, wondering to herself if Val thinks that slavers usually want to haul their recumbent cargo around bodily, staggers down to her knees again, chalking up another mark on her mental tally board.
Val: Val explains that the lady on the ground was stalling and giving him trouble. Val also explains he plans to teach her a lesson later.
Veracity: Veracity glowers at Val in a manner which no doubt confirms his story.
GM Vaschon: One of the crewmen notice Veracity hasn’t been beaten down enough and strikes her. Veracity takes 1 damage
Val: Val marches over to her and drags her onto the boat himself, as torkal and ale handle the other two. “Get a move on lest you want to taste my whip!”
Val: Val steps into the longboat, rests his whip at his side and strokes one side of his waxed mustache.

Val is really relishing his role, but in his defense, it’s not often one actually gets to be moustache-twirlingly evil. However, we’re not as convincing as we think we are.

GM Vaschon: The two crew grab oars and begin rowing down the stream.
Palin: Are they rowing merrily merrily merrily merrily?
GM Vaschon: Not too merrily as roughly 1000′ from the ship, one of the crew asks, “So, why are you guys wearing the cloaks meant for the cargo?”
Val: what season is it nick?
GM Vaschon: It is 180 days since the fall of Lanival.
GM Vaschon: oh
Palin: HA!
GM Vaschon: It’s Autumn
Val: Val explains that its been getting colder and the slaves don’t deserve the comfort.
GM Vaschon: roll a bluff check, subtract 5
Val rolled 1 20-sided die: 2
GM Vaschon: The crewman nods and continues rowing.

With a roll like that, they’re not buying Master Thespian’s story. Veracity starts testing her ropes, in case we need to get out in a hurry.

GM Vaschon: Val notices Veracity test the rope
Val: Val backhands Veracity
Palin: Chaaaaarlie’s Angels…
GM Vaschon: One of the crew says to Val, “Here, take over rowing while I light the signals.”
GM Vaschon: Val senses the crewman does not believe your story.
Val: Val says, “don’t be silly, you’ll rock the boat if we do that, give me the signal”
GM Vaschon: The crewman smiles and hands Val the flint and tinder. “Have at it.”
Palin: Why did we come up with a plan that involved Val being subtle?
GM Vaschon: The crewman says, “Light them both.”
GM Vaschon: The boat reaches the 600′ mark, you can make out the ship a little clearer.
Val: “I think they’ll see us just fine with one.” Val lights one.
GM Vaschon: The ship sits still in the water, anchors lowered. It is a large 3 mast galleon.
GM Vaschon: Val decides to light only 1 torch, which one, port or starboard?
Val: oooo
Veracity: ((yes, but what is the actual signal? Two flashes? One short, one long? Three short?))
Palin: heads or tails.
Val: Val wonders if he remembers anything from his ranger training about signals
GM Vaschon: Val, roll an intelligence check.
Val rolled 1 20-sided die: 7
GM Vaschon: Val realizes his cover has been blown from his sense motive. He also realizes he doesn’t know what lighting 0, 1 or 2 lights will do. So he thinks a moment before deciding. Now, if you want to defy the crewman and light one, you are more than welcome.
Aleanghi: Let’s take ’em out.
Bentein: Bentein leaps up to throttle the leader with his ropes.
Val: Val lunges at the other rower with his whip and tries to wrap it aorund his neck.
Palin: Okay, we’re in it now, I reckon.

GM Vaschon: Bentein successfully puts the crewman in a choke hold. Is your intent to kill?
Val: Doooo eeeeeet
Bentein: Nope, just to subdue him.
Palin: Damn your ethics. What the hell are we going to do with him when we go aboard?
Torkal: Torkal’s going to help Bentein out and wrestle him down. MIGHTILY
GM Vaschon: roll
Torkal rolled 1 20-sided die: 15
GM Vaschon: Torkal successfully grapples the crewman. Now roll to see if you tip the longboat.
Palin: The threat of tipping into the water is some kind of punishment for complaining about fire, isn’t it?
GM Vaschon: perhaps
GM Vaschon: The crewman attempts to bellow out.
Val: can he bellow out of he’s still being choked?
Torkal: Torkal doesn’t like bellowing!
Palin: Unless he’s doing it.
Torkal: Awww yeah.

Miraculously, we wrestle the first crewmen into submission without tipping the boat or having him call out to the ship. We gag him. Veracity casts Hypnotize on the other one and starts to work her womanly wiles.

Veracity: Veracity shakes off the ropes binding her hands and scoots over to the other crewman, gazing at him and leaning close to suggest that he really likes her a lot and would enjoy nothing more than explaining the entire system of signals to her, as well as giving her an idea of what they can expect to meet on the large ship. She holds on to the sides of the pitching boat strenuously as she does so.
GM Vaschon: The crewman responds, “Of course, any signal light indicates a danger and warns the crew. If you don’t light them, that means you can approach safely.”
Palin: Wow, dodged that bolt.
Veracity: Veracity settles back a little and smiles approvingly at the hynotized crewman. She says, “Oh, of course! And tell me, how big of a crew does such a VERY big boat need?” She widens her eyes and gazes at the crewman.
Palin: Oh, brother.

Veracity’s a champ, though. She gets a good amount of information.

How many: 20, not including the crew, of which there are four officers – captain, first mate, bosun, and pilot.
What: They’re delivering slaves.
Where: He doesn’t know where to, but “they pay well. An island, pretty far from here.”
When: Probably soon, since “The holds are full or should be close.”
More dangers: “There should only be the night watch on deck, if there was a signal, they would be mustered to arms.”

The hypnotism wears off, and we gag him too. We all switch cloaks, redistribute gear, and rework the plan. First order of business: we have two bound and gagged people in the longboat. If we let them go, they’ll raise the alarm. Really, we have no choice but to kill them. But still.

Bentein: Bentein nods. It’s one thing to fight people, another to start clubbing tied up folks or forcing them to drown.
Aleanghi: Last time we left someone bound, they got away
GM Vaschon: If you’re going to kill them, why do you have a problem killing the crewmen? heh
Palin: The crewmen will ostensibly be trying to kill us back.
Bentein: Fighting is not murder.
Palin: And probably trying to set us on fire, if history is any guide. Besides. These two can help us steer the ship if we need it.
Veracity: No, no, not on a ship way out in deep water.
Aleanghi: Well, if we had not subdued these guys, they would have happily delivered us to our deaths.
Val: Val suggests to Bentein that its the party’s lives or the crewmen’s lives.
Val: val puts this in a very ominious tone.
Palin: Okay, okay, fine. Let’s tie them up and gently lower them over. We don’t want a big splash.
GM Vaschon: fire + ships = one of those comical things
Palin: Let’s sneakily tie up and kill two gagged and currently helpless men.
Val: Val sugests to bentein, “if you want to be merciful, we’ll slit their throats before throwing them under”
Aleanghi: They weren’t exactly gonna just row us back and force us off at the dock.
Veracity: Veracity says crossly, “Oh, just hit them hard over the head with a big stick. That’ll put them out of commission long enough for us to succeed or die.”
Veracity: “Especially that one.” She points at the one that hit her on shore.
Torkal: Torkal takes a small liberty and slashes some throats.
Palin: No, no. Too much blood. We’ll club them.
Palin: Durn.
Torkal: IN BEFORE MORALLY SUPERIOR CHOICE
GM Vaschon: Torkal cuts their throats, critical hit due to being prone, roll damage
Torkal: Are you kidding? They can resist this?
Bentein: It’s more I think about how good you are at slashing throats.
Veracity: They can roll around in a desperate attempt to avoid Certain Doom?
Torkal rolled 1 10-sided die: 10
Torkal rolled 1 10-sided die: 2
Torkal: One of them has a papercut. The other is missing a face.
Bentein: Bentein almost protests, looking quite upset, but he silences himself unhappily.
Palin: Man, murder is messy. We should have clubbed them and tossed them over.
GM Vaschon: Torkal assassinates one, the second is losing blood.
Val: assuming the lesser hit crewman isn’t bleeding out Val clocks him in the back of the head with his sap
Torkal: Torkal finishes the fucking job, assuming no one stops him.
Torkal: Oh, well, then Val should get to act first. No big deal. Torkal isn’t picky about being interrupted.
GM Vaschon: The crewman are dead and slump to the bottom of the longboat
Veracity: Veracity says waspishly, “You people are all addicted to overkill, you know that? All we had to do was knock them stone cold unconscious with one of your big heavy weapons.”
Palin: Is it wrong that I’m laughing?
Veracity: Keystone Serial Killers.
Val rolled 1 6-sided die: 3
GM Vaschon: They’re already dead, but thanks for hitting them for good measure.
Palin: It just sounds like we’re all in a car, lost on the way to the freeway. “Well, if you’d just turned back there like I said, we wouldn’t be in this pickle.”
Val: Val lowers one of the crewmen into the water
Torkal: Torkal is the entire Manson family.

And that, my friends, is where we break. Having killed two bound (albeit evil) men and thrown their corpses into the bay, we are prepared to board the slave ship. What awaits us on deck? Tune in next time!