Kiss My Knits!

When we last left our intrepid adventurers, they were all alive again! Except me. Also, Val’s player is back.

Val: Val slicks his hair back and mutters about his lost “toys”
Torkal: Torkal reminds Val that they were marvelously effective.
GM Vaschon: Next time the villain will lobotomize Val and make him bald
Veracity: fate WORSE than death!

Treasure is sorted, including a “hat of the magi” which nobody can identify. The DM didn’t say what it looked like, but I imagine something like the hat to the right. Aleanghi decides to try it on. Despite much ragging from the party, she does not begin to hallucinate, at least no more than usual. Instead, she appears smarter. Is this a hat of intelligence, perhaps? Lord knows our party can use all the intelligence it can get.

After the requisite looting, the party decides it’s time to get going. Apparently Palin is starting to smell. How to drag my carcass back through the water, though?

Veracity: “Surely there is an alternative. Did the villain look like the sort who swam regularly?”
Torkal: “No. He barely paid attention.”
Torkal: Torkal suddenly remembers something.
Torkal: Torkal puts on a pair of spectacles.
Aleanghi: Aleangi peers at Torkal.
Palin: four eyes.
Torkal: Torkal taps his spectacles and says helpfully, “Magic glasses.”
Aleanghi: ‘Fantastic – what do they show you?
Bentein: “They make everyone look naked.”
Aleanghi: Aleangi rolls her eyes.
Palin: No wonder he never wears them.

Nice specs! Apparently Torkal did a little pre-looting before handing out goodies. He finds a secret door in the wizard’s study. Behind the door is a small room with an arcane circle centered on the floor. We take a chance and step on the circle. Everybody disappears. Bentein is carrying me in the crispy blanket, so I am not left behind. Now you might expect that with our party’s luck, we’d wind up in the middle of a cavern of flames, but not so!

GM Vaschon: Your party finds themselves teleported to the water filled chamber on the center platform.
GM Vaschon: A bat flaps around.
Aleanghi: Aleangi beams at Flambe.

Yay! We’re out with no swimming! And the bat’s here too! Just one big happy dysfunctional family.

Torkal: “This all started due to an illusion. I have the magic glasses, now. When we come back, we’ll take care of this matter once and for all. We need to recover Palin.”
Veracity: “Agreed. She’s too bulky to haul around for long like that.”
Palin: I prefer to think of myself as sturdy.

Val leads us back toward the lift. Just before we get there…

GM Vaschon: Your party continues south another 20 feet and is stopped by a wall. A pair of sphinxes appear.
Torkal: I love this floor.
Veracity: Those poor cats. They feel all warm and cozy like suede waterbottles, but they look so cold and scrawny and startled!
Veracity: Veracity says to Torkal, “We are hallucinating again.”
GM Vaschon: The sphinxters call out, only a riddle answered true, will allow you to continue. Answer falsely and punishment is your reward.
Val: Val simply responds, “Hi!”
Veracity: Veracity says to Torkal, “TELL me we are hallucinating again?”
Torkal: Torkal sees them too, I assume.
GM Vaschon: Torkal sees them too.
Torkal: “I’m afraid these are real.”
Aleanghi: ‘This bodes well.
GM Vaschon: The wild-eyed sphinx asks if you are ready for the riddle.
Val: I don’t suppose the correct answer is “no?”
Veracity: “Bring it on, Catbirds. Ignore the elf.”
GM Vaschon: The wild-eyed sphinx says, “So be it!”
GM Vaschon: As destructive as life, as healing as death;
GM Vaschon: an institutioner of strife, just as prone to bless…
GM Vaschon: It is all that is good, yet with an evil trend;
GM Vaschon: as it was the beginning of things, it can also be the end.
GM Vaschon: What am I?
Val: Val notices Aleangi’s hat and asks, “well?”
Aleanghi: Aleangi thinks.
Aleanghi: Aleangi thinks that the hat does not do what they think it does.
Aleanghi: ((Any guesses?))
Val: What is Magna Carta?

In the end, we narrow it down to either fire or water. It’s a tossup, but finally we decide to go with water.

Val: Val says, “Alright, I’m going to say it.”
Val says, “IF they leap on me run.”
Aleanghi: ‘…where to, exactly?
Veracity: “Well, give it a try.” Veracity unobtrusively moves to the back of the group, keeping an eye on the sphinxes.
Val: Val says, “Are you water?”
Aleanghi: Aleangi glances at Val.
Palin: This isn’t Jeopardy.
Aleanghi: LOL
Torkal: It’s DOUBLE JEOPARDY. Twice as srs.
GM Vaschon: The sphinxes respond
GM Vaschon: The sphinxes disappear but not before revealing the answer was fire.
Bentein: …
Val: oh for the…
Torkal: Shiiiiiiiiiiiit. I was so close.
GM Vaschon: In their place… 2 owlbear appear.
Veracity: “Oh shi….”

Everybody preps for battle. And let me tell you, it goes a damn sight better when it’s not just Torkal and Palin. Of course, more people means more sucking, and Val does hit Torkal for 11 damage in the first round. Then Torkal nearly gets passed over for his turn.

GM Vaschon: Round 2:
Torkal: HEY
Torkal: WHAT ABOUT A TORKAL
GM Vaschon: Oh, TOrkal! so you ARE awake
Torkal: Torkal gives the injured owlbear a delicious power attack +4 sandwich! With extra NICK LET ME GO IT’S MY TURN sauce.
Torkal rolled 1 20-sided die: 1
Bentein: Don’t use that sauce.
GM Vaschon: Torkal almost slips on his sauce.
Torkal: Torkal always starts battle by pissing himself.

The rest of the battle goes about as you’d expect.
Veracity: Veracity shakes the crossbow. “Is this thing on?”

Those owlbears really latch onto Torkal, who is already down because of Val’s misplaced attack. Must be the special sauce attracting them. Aleanghi’s hat must not have told her to duck, because she is knocked unconscious. Finally the owlbears are slain and a wall of force disappears, revealing the lift to the upper levels. Aleanghi is revived before proceeding.

Then Val leads the party onto the lift and they go back to the shrine and resurrect me without further incident. Except, wait, NO. That’s not how things go for our group. More to come.