Kiss My Knits!

After defeating the rust monsters, we saddle up and head back towards the room with the mouth, ready to do something with the stones, although we have no idea what.

Torkal: Torn between advancing the plot and rolling random encounters for us, Vaschon makes us take the scenic route.
Aleanghi: Don’t annoy the DM. It’s dangerous.
GM Vaschon: Proceeding another 40′ north you round a corner and continue NE. You arrive at an intersection. You can travel N, SW, E or through an archway.
Veracity: We haven’t seen a dragon for days. We’re due.
GM Vaschon: DM adds +2 to the random encounter roll for a snarky comment.

We arrive at the chamber and decide to have Val peek in. All clear. So we go in and attempt to remember what we were supposed to do with the mouth, which we last encountered in November 2008.

Someone quotes what happened back then:
———————————
GM Vaschon: The mouth says, “Find the stones, and you’ll find Krex.”
Val: “What are we to do with these stones once we find them? or will we know?
GM Vaschon: The mouth says, “Oh this one is a genius. Stick a quill in my mouth and I’ll scribe you directions.” It pauses and says, “Git outta here.”
———————————

Palin: We don’t know from that that the mouth has anything to do with the stones, do we?
Aleanghi: Not directly.
Veracity: It IS rather cryptic. Imagine that! A DM being cryptic

Well, great. If the mouth has no connection then we’ve been operating under a faulty assumption for the past five months.

We examine the stones further and determine that each carries a different color that shifts in the light. They each have a unique property.

Palin: Well, everyone else has rashly rubbed something…
Palin: Palin rubs a stone.
GM Vaschon: Palin rubs a stone, the colors shift momentarily from a burnt orange to a deep red and back again.
Palin: What if we each rub one at the same time?
Veracity: There are six of them, right?
Torkal: It IS a convenient number…
Palin: WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG??
Aleanghi: (Because, you know, calling Krex the Maligned is just what I’d love to do.)
Aleanghi: Aleangi gets a stone.
Aleanghi: (If this ends up being like a game of Simon…)
Torkal: I’m hoping it’s Trivial Pursuit. And we have to answer: “Which was the highest killing troll in the Southeastern Troll Gnome Bowling League in the year 621?”
GM Vaschon: Your party rubs their collective stones… (insert joke here). Each stone shifts from its natural color to a deeper hue. The mouth on the wall is activated giving this sound.

Awful. Just awful. Ale decides the mouth might be thirsty. Anything to make it shut up.

GM Vaschon: Ale attempts to pour water in the magic mouth and notices an object in it.
Aleanghi: Aleangi pulls the object out.
Val: a tongue?!
Torkal: It’s a pistol. You are now in LA.
GM Vaschon: Ale pulls on the object. It is a stone tongue. She yanks on it as the north wall opens revealing a chamber.

GM Vaschon: The chamber is a 50′ x 50′ circular chamber. There is a pedestal in the center of the room surounded by 6 stone pillars. Next to each pillar is a circular platflorm. Next to each pedestal is a slot for a stone.

The last time I stepped on a platform I was transported to a volcanic cavern surrounded by mindflayers. It didn’t end well. We decide to take a chance anyway. We put our stones in the slots. Apparently just any slot won’t do; we have to find the right slot.

GM Vaschon: Palin places her stone on a pedestal. It glows a burnt orange hue as the platform she is standing on glows the same color.

Then we all try all the remaining pedestals and stones in every combination. It takes a lot longer than you’d think. A LOT longer.

Aleanghi: Aleangi tries another pedestal.
GM Vaschon: Ale places her stone on a pedestal and steps on a platform. A bolt of electricity pulses through her body. She takes 3 damage.
Aleanghi: Great.
GM Vaschon: All the pedestals reset.
Aleanghi: WHAT?
Aleanghi: ::weep::

Aleanghi: ‘I dunno. I don’t think it’s order, I think it’s getting the right stone in the right pedestal. Though how we’re supposed to determine that…
Val: let’s try this
Val: blank blank, veracity, palin, val, blank

Long pause. We’re all stumped.

Val: hey, someone do something!
Palin: Bentein, put your stone on pedestal number one.
Torkal: I think Heather just made a discovery.
Bentein: Bentein does so.
GM Vaschon: Bentein places his stone on a pedestal. It glows a light blue to a deep blue. He steps on a platform which illuminates to that color.
Palin: woo!
Aleanghi: Okay, what’s the secret? 🙂
Palin: I have no idea. I just said it with great authority.
Aleanghi: ::flail::

Heh. You act authoritative, people go with it. Truth is, I was following Val’s lead. Emboldened, we quickly get our platforms lit up.

GM Vaschon: As Torkal places the final stone on the sixth pedestal it glows a blood red. He steps on the platform which illuminates to the same color. Moments later a deep grinding sound is heard as the center pedestal rises 10′ revealing a rather large chest.
Val: Val points at the chest.
Torkal: Torkal says in a dry voice, “It’s obviously a trap.”
Palin: “Klyx, do you want to get that off of there?”
GM Vaschon: Klyx decides its not in his best interest to get the chest
Val: Val points out that there probably is something they need to do with the chest, even if it is dangerous.
Palin: Palin points out that Val is our best de-trapper.
Val: Val points out to be quiet.

GM Vaschon: The chest is roughly 5′ in width and 4′ in height. It is made of a deep wood and bound in brass. There is a big hinge on the front.
Torkal: It’s not a chest. It’s a f****** coffin.
Palin: I think he’s on to something there.
Torkal: “Who wants to bet a gold there’s a necromancer in this?”
Veracity: Is the chest doing anything suspicious? Rocking, thudding back and forth, emitting ominous creaking or groaning sounds, moaning, “Freeeeee meeeeeee”? Like that?
GM Vaschon: The chest appears to be quite dormant.
Bentein: SO FAR
Veracity: dun dun DUN

Torkal: Right. Assuming everyone is ready. Torkal throws that biznatch open!
GM Vaschon: As Torkal moves to open the chest, a voice booms, “The treasures of Krex the maligned are not so easily plundered! You have made it past my puzzles, now prepare to meet your doom!” The chest vanishes as a plume of smoke fills the chamber…
Palin: oh crap.
Aleanghi: Oh great.
GM Vaschon: The guardian appears.
Torkal: That’s kind of hot.
Palin: I DON’T LIKE BURNING.
Torkal: I’d hit it.
Bentein: Nice ta tas.
Aleanghi: Crap, I knew I shoulda looked for ice/water spells.
GM Vaschon: The fire elemental is not pleased.
Torkal: I KNEW IT
Torkal: God.
Veracity: hee hee
Palin: Yeah, get that fire sphere out now, see how much good it does.
Torkal: Um. I’ll give you a hint about using fire on a fire elemental.
Torkal: NO.

The battle begins. The fire elemental immediately hits Val for more than half his hit points. The rest of us whiff every single attack on it. Turns out that it only needs, like, a 13 to hit us. The strongest of us need at least an 18 to hit it. We get in a couple of hits, then it nearly kills Klyx, then it’s my turn again. I make a critical miss, swing wide, and “Ale is whacked with a mighty blow and falls unconscious.” Sorry, Ale!

The MVP in the combat is our conniving NPC Klyx, who casts “haste” on the good guys and “slow” on the bad guys even though he is mortally wounded and has a cure light wounds potion in his hands which he could have taken a turn to drink. He also rolled a natural 20 to hit the elemental. He’s come a long way from the days when he picked my pocket and abandoned the party.

After about an hour of combat, we whittle the fire elemental down, paper cut by paper cut. Finally it attacks Klyx again, knocking him unconscious. Palin is enraged by this and smites the elemental, finally killing it. And nobody was burned to death! Yay!

Nothing left for it but to stabilize Klyx and divvy up the loot! To our credit, we even do it in that order.

Veracity gets a wand of Summon Monster I. It has 20 charges.
Palin: DO NOT WAVE IT.

Palin gets a +1 flaming greatclub. Of course it was flaming. It had to be flaming. I don’t have nearly enough opportunities to set myself and others on fire. Aleanghi gets a +1 shock hand crossbow, which I theorize must be a combination missile weapon and joy buzzer. Torkal gets a +1 full plate of spell resistance 13.

Torkal: …?!
Torkal: I think I just touched myself.
Palin: WHAT??
Torkal: Lemme check.
Torkal: Yeah.
Torkal: Touching myself.
Val: Spellresistance 13?
Torkal: 13% chance to null a spell, I believe.
GM Vaschon: When he wears the armor certain spells he gets a spell resistance roll.

GM Vaschon: Val pulls out a ring of mind shielding.
Aleanghi: Doesn’t matter, we all know what he’s thinking.

I’m not going to list all the stuff we got, but suffice to say, it’s nice and there’s a lot of it. For once, we win!

GM Vaschon: And on that note, we are camping here. You have successfully (how I don’t know) defeated level 3 of the mines.
Bentein: Dumb luck.
Veracity: That’s what I like, a rousing vote of confidence from our DM

There’s no way to know what this week will bring, but I’m not going to jinx it by saying, “well, we survived this long!” Krex the Maligned is still out there somewhere, and he’s not going to be happy to see us traipsing around wearing all of his loot.

We play again tonight, so tune in next time for more Adventures in Burnination!