Kiss My Knits!

I was roundly chastised by the group last night for letting updates fall behind, so here we go with last week’s monster-filled session! Props to the GM for finding such excellent illustrations to enhance our experience.

Aleanghi can’t be with us tonight. This could be a problem, as she has the maps. Since we have no map, rather than get lost in territory we have already covered, we decide to move into the unknown. From the pump room, we decide to go down the mysterious passage that last week’s gnomes wandered out of. We quickly encounter a puzzle of this type laid out on the floor: http://perfectweb.org/ddo/solver/vale_puzzle.html . We have to step on the various tiles to arrange a pattern and open a door. We hop around like Mexican jumping beans for a while and finally solve it. Much credit to Val and especially Torkal here.

The door opens. Beyond it is a tunnel coated with frost. We can’t see where the frost is coming from. We decide to keep going.

GM Vaschon: Your party travels another 30′ east and arrive at a large cavern.
GM Vaschon: You see a young white dragon
GM Vaschon: It turns and gives you this look. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw
Torkal: OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME
Palin: YOU LIE.
Val: Val does not attack. This is very important.
Veracity: um. Tell me the white dragons were the nice ones?
Torkal: No. No, they’re in fact the evil kind.
Veracity: Oh. Dear.
onlinehost GM Vaschon rolled 1 20-sided die: 1
Palin:Let’s back away.
GM Vaschon: The dragon reaches over and gobbles what appears to be a gnomecicle.
Veracity: lol
Palin: Little bastards had it coming.
Veracity: Veracity eyes Klyxx speculatively.
GM Vaschon: You’re lucky the dragon rolled a 1!

In a rare show of intelligence, we all decide to run away.

GM Vaschon: Are you running or walking
Val: you have to ask?!
GM Vaschon: Yes
Veracity: Veracity follows the general route back to the west, keeping an eye out behind her as she goes. She’s….moving pretty fast, but cautiously.
Torkal: Torkal is running.
GM Vaschon: Torkal runs down the frost covered passage. Roll a balance check.
Val: HAHAHAAH
Torkal: You’re a dick.
GM Vaschon: heh

Torkal falls. The noise alerts the dragon and as we run away, it starts to follow. Veracity is in the rear as the dragon enters the passage. The dragon breathes a frost plume. Veracity saves and takes half damage, only 8 points.

We all run back to the puzzle room. Val and I try stepping on the tiles to close the door, to no effect. We take off running again. The dragon follows us up… and stops at the entrance to the tile room. Woo! We made it! We pause, catch our breath, and decide which direction to go next: the known NW or the unknown SE.

Val: Lets go SE. i mean, what could be there thats worse than a dragon?
Palin: WHY DID YOU SAY THAT??
Val: I HAD TO SAY IT
Palin: WE’RE DOOMED!

We explore a bit more without being killed by the irony beast, then decide to check back in with the Dwarven miner. We don’t want him getting worried, or eaten, or taking the lift up with no way for us to get out. We get back and he’s fine. It finally occurs to me to ask his name.

GM Vaschon: He answers, “Rotty D’cloar, Whats it t’ya?”

Dragonrealms players will recognize the reference and probably, like me, bust out laughing. We decide to go back to the passage and explore a hole we discovered which seems to lead to a Gnomish encampment. On the way there…

GM Vaschon: Your party travels 50′ SE and arrives at an intersection. To the east you see a frost covered passage with a young white dragon staring at you. The passage continues SE.
Val: um.. the dragon is still behind the tiles though right?
Torkal: The dragon appears to be chilling there.
Torkal: GET IT
Torkal: GET IT????

Sigh. We go down a hole into the gnomish warren. To the north are some gnomes and another largeish creature. To the east is a passage we can’t see the end of. To the south is a passage riddled with traps. To the southwest is a passage ending in a small door. We go for that one.

Val picks the lock on the door, and behind it is… a minotaur! It is so amused by us breaking into what appears to be its own personal quarters that it doesn’t immediately smite us. Veracity rolls high on her diplomacy skill and is able to talk to it. The rest of us roll badly. The minotaur decides none of us but Veracity are worth speaking to. Torkal’s character is inconveniently booted from the chat room, so both he and Aleanghi are now missing in action. It’s all up to Veracity.

GM Vaschon: The minotaur decides you are not worth his time. But if you really want to challenge your skills, he invites you to try.
Veracity: Veracity hastily assures the minotaur that they do not doubt his word in the least. She allows herself an admiring look at his muscles, makes sure he notices, and then inquires casually, “Are you a champion here? You LOOK like a champion, with those muscles.” She is almost cooing.
Palin: Oh, for…
onlinehost GM Vaschon rolled 1 20-sided die: 20
Val: wha?
GM Vaschon: The minotaur states he is here for the gladiator games and his team will be victorious.
Veracity: Veracity, still almost cooing, says, “A competition! Well, any team YOU are on is bound to be a winning team.” She’s pouring it on like maple syrup on pancakes now.
Palin: Palin whispers to Veracity, “Ask him about the other competitors, and/or the dragon.”
Veracity: Veracity adds, “You know, we saw a nasty-looking white dragon not far from here….I bet YOU could take on something like that easily though.” She looks admiring, batting her lashes.
Val: i feel like we’ve just entered an anime

GM Vaschon: The minotaur says the team to beat will be the trolls, however he is confident his group will be victorious. He also states he knows nothing about a white dragon, but the red dragon Velah is well known to him.

Turns out the dragon isn’t competing. “Velah is the one who the victors will receive their rewards from.” I’m assuming it’s money and not the “oh, YOU’ll get your reward” bitin’ off heads type of reward. We discover that “The aurum are hosts of the games” and we can talk to them if we want to enter the competition. Aurum are a subset of Dwarves known for their banking skills.

Once Veracity is finished setting female dungeon crawlers back a hundred years, we leave the room before the minotaur decides to kill us all for fun. The conversation degenerates.

Veracity: Veracity sags back against the wall, exhaling loudly.
Veracity: Veracity says to Val, “Good work, Val! We were THIS CLOSE to ending up that thing’s shish kebab!”
Val: Val just turns to Veracity and says, “From how you were buttering him up I would have assumed you wanted that. Minotaur love and all that.”
Palin: OH MY GOD.
Veracity: Veracity says tartly, “Next time, elfboy, get yourself out of what your mouth gets you into.” She stalks back up the corridor.
Val: “You would know a lot about mouths.”
Palin: That’s what she said.
Val: OAAOAOAOAA

It’s no wonder these two tried to kill each other a few weeks ago. Once we’re done with innuendo and insults, we arrive back at the chamber with the ladder leading up to the machine room area. There’s a troll there. Inspiration strikes!

Palin: Palin waves and asks it if it’s ready for the tourney.
GM Vaschon: roll a bluff check
(Palin rolls well enough.)
GM Vaschon: The troll asks who you are.
Palin: “Palin. Hopefully soon to be Lady Palin, rolling in Velah’s riches!”
GM Vaschon: The troll looks skeptical and uninterested.
Val: Val points to Veracity, “And she is She-thor, Valkyrie of the Word! Together they are the finest female duo in the lands.”
GM Vaschon: It does not attack.
Palin: Palin shrugs and gestures for her group to go up the ladder.
Veracity: Veracity glances sideways at Palin, then swallows a laugh and heads up the ladder.
GM Vaschon: Your party ascends the ladder.
Palin: Palin gestures for the group to keep it moving until out of earshot.
Val: i was so hoping to cast Palin and Veracity as the land’s premier lesbian fighting force.
Palin: Battle on, Palin.

We talk a LOT about entering the tournament. We come this close… but then decide that since we’re missing half the party, it really wouldn’t be fair. As Veracity said, “In the absence of half their group, Max, Heather and Karen cheerfully offered their entire party up to certain death.” Well, when you put it that way…

Val: so we accomplished nothing tonight?
Veracity: I think we accomplished a lot.
Palin: We learned that there’s a dragon here, a nest of Gnomes, a tournament in which a minotaur will be fighting trolls, and a red dragon who will be handing out prizes. We managed to avoid combat, true, but we still accomplished a lot.

And on that high note, just about on time, we ended the session. No major injuries, and we managed to avoid being killed by trolls, minotaurs, and dragons. Outstanding! Tune in next time to see the way the universe balances out a session of triumph by making Val the whipping boy of the dungeon. It’ll be fun!