Kiss My Knits!

I’ll let Veracity sum up where we were when we left off.

Veracity: So. Two enchanters. Four spearmen. Val on the far side of the room untying captives.

Palin: I’m going to try to kill a spearman.
GM Vaschon: Ok, make the attempt!
onlinehost drtvini rolled 1 20-sided die: 4
Palin: sigh. Let the sucking begin.

Not only does Palin miss, but she is immediately entangled in a web by one of the enchanters.

Torkal: Righto. Can I spend a turn to help Palin? Pull her out or cut them away or something?
GM Vaschon: You can’t pull her out, but you can set the web on fire.
Palin: Thanks, Vaschon.

That’s right. The web cannot be frozen (great idea, though, Val), or otherwise cut away without risk of entanglement. It can only be burned. Figures. Fortunately we were all out of fire spells, having used them up in the previous battle. I would like to thank my compatriots for not using non-magical means to try to burn the web. Nobody likes having a torch lobbed at them. Besides, my eyebrows are still growing back from my last encounter with friendly fire.

The bad guys are really rolling great! They’re getting max damage against us. Although Torkal does manage to make saves against being slept and blinded, we’re definitely on the defensive. Veracity succumbs to a stinking cloud. However, help is on the way. Aleanghi summons a celestial fire beetle. It’s Rollo! Good old Rollo!

Veracity: Veracity is too busy coughing and choking and gagging to react adversely to the appearance of an enormous insect. Normally, she doesn’t care how helpful it is, she is not in favour of things with more than a maximum of four legs.

Palin finally extricates herself from the web, and Val manages to rouse the captives. Three of them take up arms. The spearmen continue to poke Palin. Aleanghi is captured by a spell and held in place. Her fire beetle continues to do her bidding.

GM Vaschon: Enchanter successfully casts haste on his group.
Palin: What, they’re not kicking our asses fast enough? They’ve got somewhere to be?

We continue to suck, until I make a bold declaration:

GM Vaschon: Your beetle rumbles toward a spearman but fails to gnaw.
Palin: There’s a sentence you don’t hear every day. Am I within range of an enchanter?
GM Vaschon: yes
Palin: I choose to KILL AN ENCHANTER.
Veracity: grin
onlinehost drtvini rolled 1 20-sided die: 18
GM Vaschon: hit!
Palin: +9=27
Torkal: See, this is the number I’d love to have.
Val: nice. geez
onlinehostdrtvini rolled 1 12-sided die: 12
Palin: +4=16
Palin: Toldja.
GM Vaschon: And enchanter is killed
Palin: Now THAT, my friends, is going in the writeup.

And the beauty of it? I did it AGAIN with the other enchanter a few rounds later. By the end of the battle I was down to one hit point, but nobody actually died, and none of us were set on fire – mainly because we had used up all our fire spells during the last battle. More importantly, we’d freed the captives and found two mage stones. We only need one more!

Palin: Now what exactly will having all seven stones do for us?
Val: I don’t know…i think we’re supposed to bring them back to the talking mouth
Torkal: We take them to the mouth. There, we shall have an orgy.
Palin: Right.
Aleanghi: Whee!
Palin: Maybe we don’t want Klyx there for that part.
Val: we also have a key to a chest that is somewhere on the 5th floor (or something) after we free all the miners (or something)
Torkal: Torkal has a coffer that he was told has a key located on the fifth floor, yes.

So there you have it. We crept closer to our goal, saved all of the hostages, and we all lived to fight another day. For once, our sucking did not lead to accidental mayhem. Of course, that was completely offset by last night’s session. That one doesn’t get a writeup until I get a padded keyboard, because I don’t want to damage my computer by banging my head against the keys in frustration.

Tune in next time, and bring a tarp, because it’s going to be messy!