Kiss My Knits!

I think this year I may skip Simucon.

Don’t get me wrong, Simucon is a great time. There are games, there’s the opportunity to meet people in real life you only know as words on a screen, there’s beer and dancing and henna tattoos and other assorted stuff that makes it a really fun event.

But last year, I felt… isolated. There weren’t many oldtimer GMs there, and that’s what I am now, having been “behind the curtain” since 1997. I enjoyed talking with the newer GMs and brainstorming ideas, but I didn’t really feel like this was my tribe. I think it was for several reasons. One was we didn’t have lanyards denoting us as GMs, which meant that players who wanted to talk to a GM had to get up close and sniff your tag, and I think that made us harder to find. Another is that it was the first year that I wasn’t the wedding guru, having rightly turned over that responsibility to the lovely and talented GM Nhia so that I could run http://www.wearwithstyle.com and know that DragonRealms’ wedding couples weren’t getting short shrift. I didn’t have as much interaction with the players last year in-game, so there was a lot of “Oh, and you do what? Weddings? Oh.” and then moving on. In spite of that, it was fun, but it was kind of… faded fun. I enjoyed hanging with Riel and Quarel and others, but I just felt… I don’t know, tired.

Most of all, this year I’m thinking about who definitely won’t be there. The best time I ever had there was with Pat. We were 12-year-olds at a slumber party. I don’t know, it just feels kind of… sad.

I think last year the part of the trip I enjoyed the most, and the part I look forward to every year, is the trip there. I enjoy driving almost 700 miles by myself. I like stopping where I want when I want and not being responsible for anyone but myself. If I choose to hit three yarn stores in Nashville, then by God, I’ll do it. If I want to stop in the Blue Ridge and watch the sun through the rain for a while, who cares? And if I happen to pass near Metropolis, Illinois on the day of the Superman festival and veer off so I can see the Batmobile from the 1960’s series, there’s no schedule I’m throwing off except my own.

But I can do that anywhere, and have the journey be its own destination. I’m sure I can find a way to do it that won’t cost a crazy amount of money and gas. The truth, though, is that I’m likely to talk myself out of a trip elsewhere on the theory that it’s money and gas and time away from my home that my family needs me, whereas since this is a once a year event, I’m more likely to say “well, I can’t miss this.” I’m still thinking about skipping it this year, though.

I don’t know. I’m just thinking.